Harvard to High Notes | Growing up with Lebanese Parents feat. Randa

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Hello and welcome to Culture in Between, a podcast that explores the unique experiences of people

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who grew up in a culture outside of their parents' culture.  We are your hosts, Alyssa and Brianna.

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And in today's episode, we are joined by Renda, whose parents are from Lebanon. Renda, thank

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you so much for joining us. We're happy to talk to you.  Thank you for having me. It's great

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to be here. Yeah. So I met Renda in graduate school  at Peabody Institute in Baltimore.

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We're both singers. Yeah, so it's just really a pleasure to have her here. And Renda, would

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you like to give a little introduction to yourself?  Sure. Yeah, my name is Renda Malhem.  I  am

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an opera singer  and musician and a huge movie buff. Those are probably like my  three main

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interests.  I, yes, I know Brianna from  music school, from grad school. And I currently live

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in Philadelphia, PA. Go Mertz. Oh, yeah. You've become like fully Philadelphia now. Were you

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guys in the same studio? No, we were not. OK. But we did once discuss moving to Philadelphia

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together. So it's really cool that you I think I saw somewhere on social media that you were

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living there now. And I was like, oh, man, she actually made it. Well, I so I grew up here.

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Oh, you did. And then my family moved to Baltimore when I was a first year freshman in college.

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Oh, I you grew up in Baltimore. OK, we'll see that. I grew up in Philly. Oh, wow. OK. Wow,

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wow, wow. See, learning new things. So, now we know that you grew up in Philly, but can

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you tell us where in Lebanon are your parents from? So sure, yeah, my parents,  were both

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they both grew up and were born in Beirut, which is the capital of Lebanon.  It is the biggest

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city in Lebanon.  And it's a very diverse francophone  English English English city that is an Arabic

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city.  My dad, more specifically,  is from a village in the mountains in the more northern

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part of Lebanon called Farhazier, which is part of a great that's the name of the village and

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the greater  mountain is called Kura. So that's very specific to my father and my mom. My mom's

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family is from a mountain village called Brimena, which is right outside of Beirut. did your

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parents meet in Lebanon or here in the States? No, they met. They met at the age of 15. Wow.

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Either middle school or high school. know, of them, they started. Sorry, they started dating

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at 15. They met earlier.  And they, you know, they've been together since then  and they

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moved here together and they went to medical school here.  Brought them to the United States.

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And did they first come to Philly or did they move somewhere else?  No, the first place my

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parents lived in the United States was actually in Mobile, Alabama. Really?  Yes.  Not a common

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city. They both went to the University of Southern Alabama for medical school.  My grandfather,

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was also on my father's side, who was also a doctor, had a visiting professorship there

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at one point.  And  that helped them to get into medical school, which for  international

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students is a huge deal because it's much easier to place into a residency in the United States

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when you actually do medical school in the United States. OK. So was really important for them

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to  have that opportunity to go to medical school in the United States. Oh, that's really interesting.

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We've never really discussed this on  the podcast, but our mom was a pharmacist. She's retired

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now, but  she kind of did a similar thing in that she was working as a pharmacist in Jamaica,

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and then she came to the US to study pharmacy, even though she was already a licensed pharmacist

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in Jamaica because she had to start over.  then she  worked here.  redo things.  Yeah. Luckily

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they had they you know, that was just their first. Okay. They didn't have to redo.  They

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didn't have to. That was like the really nice thing for them.  Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Good.

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All right. All right.  So have you  visited Lebanon and like kind of what was your experience

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going to Lebanon? So basically, I have been It's  a complicated journey, but  as a baby,

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basically,  since before I could remember, know, we'd make, you know, every summer my parents

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would make the trip with me and my brother  and  just spend the summer  reconnecting with

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family, reconnecting with their friends.  As I got older, started remembering those trips

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and, you know, really looking forward to those trips.  Around the time I started middle school,

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just because of, you know, my parents are so focused on,  they were focused on my brother

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and I as academics,  it started slowing down a little bit. It started being  more important

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to focus on,  you know, being in the United States, being in activities during the summer.

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So it slowed down at around, yeah, my first year of middle school. And then I went  in

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2009 one time for a summer, which was nice. And the last time I've been there was actually

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in 2012. And that was unfortunately for my grandmother's one year memorial service for her passing.

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So it has been a while. I am hoping to go there within the next year or two.  just to really

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make that connection back because it is something that was part of my younger life that I really

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miss. Yeah.  And I remember one time,  Renda and I were both in like a French  opera.  And

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I don't know how this came up, but I think you had to like do like a little monologue thing

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in French in the opera. I don't know if you remember this.  like someone was like, yeah,

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Renda speaks French. Did you know that?  And I was like, no, that's really cool.  But now

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it makes sense, because I know that, like, French is kind of one of the languages spoken in Lebanon.

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So can you take us through that as well? Like, did you grow up speaking French and Arabic

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or  how did you?  I grew up speaking English and Arabic,  most predominantly. Arabic is

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completely spoken.  So  I actually don't, I am unable to read and write formal Arabic.

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And formal Arabic is actually very different than the spoken language.  So  I speak Lebanese

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dialect Arabic, which is very specific. It's, know, you hear that kind of thing in Syria

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as well.  It's very similar across the Levant, that spoken Arabic, but I wouldn't, for example,

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I have a very difficult time understanding Egyptians. I've heard that. It's so close, I, yeah. The

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French, Lebanon is a very  interesting  country. said that it's a, you know, the city of Beirut

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is like francophone, but also  has English elements. And obviously it's an Arabic country.  There's

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two systems of education  in Arabic, in Lebanese schools,  one where you learn a track of English

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and Arabic, and one where you learn a track of French and Arabic.  And both of my parents,

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were English track.  So they actually, they do speak probably better French than most people

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who have never formally taken French, but it's not  as  second nature to them.  I took what

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they gave me  and then compounded on it in French classes that we take here in the US.  And then

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I  really pushed hard to like, find that third language because it wasn't, know,  it's  learning

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a new language at any time is very difficult.  French is a beautiful language and  I've forgotten

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a lot of it unfortunately. But  yeah, it's a great, that's about how I came about it. I

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know that when you speak a second language at all, it really opens up the doors for third

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language. So I think both of those elements really helped me in learning French growing

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up.  Okay, okay. So you probably like, you know more French than your parents do probably,

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or at least you used to.  They think they know more French  than  I do.  I do have aunts,

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both of my dad's sisters were taught in the French system.  So they actually are trilingual,

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fully trilingual. And actually  one of my dad's sister, I believe  she also speaks Spanish.

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So she's quadrilingual. Yeah. She's impressive. Yeah. I'm always very impressed by that. Yeah.

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And it's interesting that you said you can't read or write it, because that's something

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that we've seen sometimes too. Like if you can speak it, it doesn't necessarily mean writing

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it is as easy. didn't  know it was maybe so... Well, an Arabic doesn't use the  alphabet like

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in the writing.  I would say like the big, you know, I probably would have taken the time.

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Let's say I was, you know,  if I was  from an origin of a country that uses the Latin

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alphabet. Right. A Latin alphabet? think that's what it's called. Yeah.  The Latin alphabet.

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think I would have taken the time to maybe actually learn how to read and write what I was speaking.

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But Arabic is just the letters are completely different. And it's apparently so I've been

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told very, very  complicated.  Yeah, it looks complicated. Yeah. So, and another thing is

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that, so you're an opera singer now, and I've always known you as a singer, but I know that

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you went to Harvard. I was waiting for this question. This blew my mind when she told Because

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I told my sister and she was like, what? I was like, those don't mix. And we recently had

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a, well, I won't... ruin it. But we have another guest this season who also kind of has this

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mix of like science and music.  so  so I just wanted to talk to you about that, because it's

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interesting. So you went to Harvard, you studied applied mathematics. Yes.  And then you went

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into music. And we always talk about on this show how immigrant parents, you know, they

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want to always play it safe and they always want their kids to do like doctor, teacher,

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doctor, doctor, engineering,  something like that. Like so was yeah, were your parents supportive

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of you kind of switching into music? Was that something that you always wanted to do? Yeah.

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So this is it's it's really interesting that you ask that. And that way you mentioned the

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doctor lawyer for our family specifically for like both my mom and dad side of the family.

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It's it's doctor architect engineer. Oh, OK. That's it. Those are the big three in our family.

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But yeah, I You know, I mentioned that my parents like spoke to me in Arabic. There was a brief

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period where they did try to put me in Arabic classes as a child, very young child. They

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also put me in piano lessons at around the same age.  And I remember like as soon as I complained

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about the Arabic classes, the Arabic classes were dropped.  As soon when I complained about

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the piano lessons, they were like, no, you're staying in with the piano.  And I kept, you

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know, they kept me in piano lessons until I was 16. It was against my will. And then at

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16, I kind of fell in love with it a little bit. but that was it was always really important

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to them, the music. And my parents are huge, huge fans of classical music. I actually my

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dad is a bigger fan of opera than I am. He is just constantly listening to opera to the point

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where I was like, dad,  if I was constantly talking about medicine to you for fun  during

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your free time off, would you not be  a little bit tired  of  it? So they were pushing me

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to go down a practical route. think a lot of the music lessons I took besides just music

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being good for a developing mind. think it was, you know, something that they felt would help

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me get into a good school. I also took voice lessons from 14 to 18. So that was like something

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that I fought for. And but they both, you know, they viewed it. I think I mean, I've never

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confirmed this with them. But my my thought on the process of the singing lessons was Well,

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she's really good at singing. So what's the thing that she can do with her singing that

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will look best on a resume?  And then, you know, it helped me, you we sent recordings into all

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my schools that I applied to and it did help.  And then it kind of backfired on them.  But

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no, I have like, I'm so lucky to just have their full support and their  desire to see

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me succeed is  something that I know lot of opera singers or musicians in general don't

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have. And it's just really great to have them  not just support me emotionally, but just

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really love the music and really love the thing that I'm doing and  seeing it as something

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that is worthwhile. And they are also happy that I have a part-time job to sustain me

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while I am pursuing this career because I am still working part-time.  at the University

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of Pennsylvania in a research position, which is great. It helps me pay for my lessons and

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that's very nice. I mean, know, Breanna, you know, it's such a... It's such a waiting game

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for, you know, not for everyone, but for,  I think most singers or musicians, it's a waiting

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game to see when like, when your time comes. And so it is nice to have that safety net

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of a second skill that, yeah, that they really like. provided for me by having that emphasis

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on practicality, essentially. Yeah. Yeah. It's great, though, that they've been so supportive,

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because that's definitely not something we always know. it seems like your dad has an actual

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passion for opera, too, which is nice. We always joke and say, like, my mom liked when Brianna

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did music, like, in middle school and high school and all that. But like, once she actually started

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pursuing it, Probably when you got to like grad school, I think she was kind of like, oh, wait,

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she's actually... She's like, she's still doing this?  But so that's it's not the norm of what

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we hear, but I love that they've been so supportive. So I'm just curious, did you  do you still

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like like mathematics and stuff or is it you just you do or is it just like... I mean, I

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hope this doesn't get to my job, but no, I don't like mathematics.  I, you know, I...  When

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I was growing up, it came so second nature to me. It was my easiest subject in school by

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far. I studied, but I didn't need to study that much. And so when I went to college and I'm

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thinking practically, I was like, I'm going to do a minor in film studies and I'm going

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to do the math so that I, you know, I had these weird ideas of um, no,  being one of those

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people who create software that does CGI for movies and somehow blending them. Yeah. ended

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up,  you know, mathematics is such a difficult subject that  unless you are, there's a few

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lucky people who are really just geniuses who don't ever need to work at math, but I'm, I'm

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very good at math, but you know, it's just such a It's such a difficult subject that once you

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get to these higher level things, you realize I have to put a lot more effort into this.

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I guess I didn't put enough effort into it all the time while I was in school. so and

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it was very hard because of that. And that just kind of breeds a dislike of some of something,

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you know. Yeah, but. There was a time when I liked it has since passed. I am impressed because,

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like I like I said earlier, when Brianna was telling me this, I was like, my brain cannot

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comprehend. This doesn't mean I was like, it's not even just like, oh, I went to like a state

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school like. Harvard. It's like, it's like not like, yeah, I was like, what? I was like, that's

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cool, that's cool, though. It's just definitely very, very unique. mean, I'll tell you, while

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I was there, I did every single extracurricular I did while I was there was music. I was in

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I was in my a cappella group. Shout out to the Radcliffe pitches. It's the oldest all women's

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a cappella group on Harvard's campus, and they specialize in jazz. music. So I was also in

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the University Choir, the Sunday Choir.  And then my junior and senior year, I was in the

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student-led opera company  shows,  Harvard College Opera.  And I was  won over  during those experiences

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with  Harvard College Opera. That is actually what  has sent me down my path, was working

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in those shows. Yeah.  And it's, mean, I'm sure in a way, having that background of having

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all that piano background and all that stuff, like, I mean, yeah, that only helps you. I

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don't know. mean, I've always heard there's like a kind of a correlation between the piano

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and like math and stuff. I hated piano. I took piano as a child too, and I absolutely hated

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it. My mom did not make me stay in it. She was like, fine, just leave. It's very difficult.

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it's really, your hands, like, you know, they have to. Do two things at the same time. have

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really small hands too. I couldn't stretch them. But  it's good that your parents kind of made

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you stick with it. think that  not only helped you probably with your math prowess, but also

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as a singer, it's helpful too. As any musician, I think it's helpful too. So that's awesome.

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That's really good.   I guess so growing up now that I know that you grew up in Philly,

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okay.  I spent this whole time thinking you grew up in Baltimore.  So growing up in Philly

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with Lebanese  parents, was there  kind of a Lebanese community at all in Philly, like an

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Arabic community at all in Philly? what was that like?  We had a  couple of groups of family

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friends growing up.  It's not huge, it's at least like the circle my parents formed like

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was not huge. It was about three, four families. All of them had kids, like some were a little

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younger than us, some were a little bit older than us.  It was a really nice community to

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grow up in  and they were,  I'm glad my parents had their friendships with them.  Weirdly for

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me, it didn't actually  really impact me so much growing up in Philly because  I was like.

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surrounded by my own friends and they were, you all the  American people at my high school.

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But I wouldn't say that it was something like, you know, you get together with them  every

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week and like, you're seeing these people who you know so well. Like, I think I'd see my

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parents'  once every three weeks, and then I would see their kids  during holiday parties.

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I'm  gonna turn to Baltimore, because weirdly, your question is way more relevant to Baltimore.

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My parents now  have a group of around 60 or so people in the greater Baltimore, Maryland

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DC area who  who they  are just seeing constantly and we're  constantly going to parties with

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them to meet their friends kids and  That actually  basically since we moved there when I was

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a freshman in college has been a lot more of a Part of my life than when I was in Philadelphia

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And  they're really happy that they have that there.  They haven't lost their Philly friends,

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of course. They  come up and see them when they come to visit me.  But  the Baltimore crowd

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has kept them there. And now they're planning on retiring there in Baltimore.  That for them

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has been really important. I've made a lot of friends through that group of 60 families.

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Yeah, and it's really, my Arabic has actually improved more recently than it has in like

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the past, you know, most of my teens and twenties because of this group of people in Baltimore.

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Yeah, guess that makes sense. Like that DC area, people are there for all different reasons

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and stuff. So yeah, that makes sense. I to mention my mom's sister and my mom's brother both also

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live in DC.  Oh,  okay. Yeah, we have them as well.  Nice.  But  you mentioned earlier that

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your parents were trying to put like or they did put you in Arabic school when you didn't

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like it and they took you out. like,  I mean, they trying?  No, that's cool. I mean, were

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they trying to kind of like instill like, guess, how did how would they go about like instilling

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instilling kind of Lebanese culture on you as a child? What do you think? Well, I'm not sure

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about you. guys with your is it just your mom or both of your parents? Both of my parents.

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Yeah. So so it was just kind of, you know. That was how we lived our life, you know, we we

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we had different food growing up. than all of my peers, know, we had,  um,  we had Arabic

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music playing in the house, which I love. It's a jam. I love Arabic music. Um,  the, language

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skills, you know, they would just speak to us. They would just, um, and you just pick those

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things up. I actually have an easier time understanding Arabic when it's spoken to me than French when

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it's spoken to me because it's  something that was implanted in my brain. Like I did not have

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to translate  at any point between air and every now I, you know, ask them certain questions

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about when the language gets complicated, where I misunderstand something.  But yeah, it was

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really innate.  Something that you just is a part of your life and you don't really realize

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that it's not a part of everyone's life until you go to like your first sleepover  at a friend's

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Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, your parents let you go on sleepovers. That was another joke. Because

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I don't know. Well, we talked about this in like a previous episode. remember with think

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it was Seppi's episode. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. But how like our parents didn't let us go. I thought

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it was like an immigrant parent thing. I guess it's kind of  conditional. You know,  you want

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to know it's  I actually I'm like the weird kid. I actually like didn't like going on

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sleepovers because I like I would get scared. Like not being at home. Yeah. All right. You

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know, it took me a while to get used to sleepovers. So I think my parents were like, no, no, go.

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That's funny. But there were a couple of times when they had to pick me up from the sleepovers

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because I wanted to come home. So, yeah. But I do know, like the there were certain things

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that I feel like, oh, that's like. American yeah, yeah, what their kids do yeah, yeah,

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yeah, yeah, but that's cool that you just you know you just kind of like you said the language

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is just very innate I think that's the greatest part about you know When kids can just pick

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up a language like you don't have to you're never like learning it or is like I don't know

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what's the drop-off age is I think it's 12 I can't remember what it is, but I've heard some

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studies about like after a certain age it becomes like exponentially harder to pick up a language.

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And we always joke how Spanish in the US, or at least taking a second language in school

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here is a joke. You know, I've taken however many years of Spanish, but I don't know anything.

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Yeah, that's why it's really impressive you were able to learn French. I mean, I know you

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had that base, like, because yeah. And I, you know, like I said, I pushed myself. I would

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say, I mean, I'm sure there were a couple of other kids in my school who went on and really

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learned their languages. I completely agree with you. don't think it's very well taught

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in the schools here.  I don't feel like I really  learned how to speak French until I went and

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did a semester abroad.  that was, again, I was very, very privileged to be able to do that

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because you have to pay for that stuff. I didn't get any scholarship funding for that particular.

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semester abroad in France and France is expensive. So  yeah, and again, it's that sense of like

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the innate, unless you're constantly speaking it, I  don't know how you would really learn

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another language. I don't know if you've met kids who go to international schools  or like

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a school with a focus on a certain language and they all end up. speaking the language

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and then you learn like, oh, we have German classes every day.  that's why I speak German.

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Yeah. Yeah. But no, yeah, I had to really push myself beyond even what my parents knew of

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French and had taught me in French to  pick it up. Yeah. So our first question, I guess

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we'll start with food. Yeah. Yes. So can you tell us what are some of your favorite Lebanese

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foods? Okay, so I'd say my favorite, like, let's go with home cooked dish is, um,  jejurez,

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which,  uh,  in Lebanon or in, I think like a lot of the Middle East for some reason, like

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the names of dishes are just like what they are.  So jejurez means chicken and rice. It's

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not like,  and it's, uh, you know, it's,  um, chicken and rice and it's specifically,  um,

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seasoned with cinnamon, black pepper, allspice, and cardamom. Those are like the stats and

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salt. That's the spice blend we use. At least that's my family's recipe. And you sprinkle

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it on top with caramelized onions and toasted nuts. And the toasted nuts are a huge like,

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that was kind of like a symbol of. generosity and wealth to show, you you have it for a dinner

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party. Like you want your friends to like have these nuts because nuts are expensive. And

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that was like, but that's like a really good part of the chicken and rice that we have.

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And then I think like, there's a huge difference between home cooking and restaurant cooking

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that you get.  And I say like my favorite Lebanese Arabic food is falafel, falafel.   Um,  yeah,

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you know how my name is  Renda, it's spelled with an A in English. And that's because, oh

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God, I don't remember why exactly, but  it has to do with like an accent or something over

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the letter. Uh, Renda. It's like,  uh, I think about it in Russian,  you know, when you're

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not, when you're saying a non-stressed  ah in Russian, it becomes oh.   It's a little bit

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like that. So my name is Renda. And similarly, it's not falafel, even though it's spelled

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F-A-L-A-F-E-L.  It's falafel. That's how we would say it. Renda falafel.  Yeah. Okay, I'm

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glad we came around to that. That's cool. Okay. I feel like people might see this episode and

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see how your name was and be like, why are they calling her Renda? that makes... Have you ever...

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I assume you've gotten called Renda a whole time? Oh, Renda, Ronda, Rhonda. I prefer Renda

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over Rhonda because I don't like the name Rhonda. I introduce myself as Renda. It's like Brenda

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without a B, but it's spelled with an A. And people have a hard time finding me on Facebook.

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That's cool. that's a nice. Those are my two favorite dishes. guess I'll go with favorite

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dessert and that's knäfe jibben, which is like a cheesy, kind of flat cake made with semolina

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and mozzarella cheese and then it's covered in a syrup  made of water sugar lemon and rose

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water  As like a little accent flavor. So that's really good. Those are my I'd say those are

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my Lebanese shoutouts Yeah, cool. And we got a little bonus in there with the name. That's

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awesome. That was like  Okay, so you mentioned that Her music was your jam. So now I'm curious.

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What are some of your favorite? What's the music artists that you recommend? They're just musicians

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that you like so  You do not talk about Lebanese music without talking about Fayrouz. Fayrouz

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is a female... Yes, I'll spell it for you. F-A-I-R-O-U-Z, but sometimes it can be just spelled F-A-I-R-U-Z.

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But I believe the more correct spelling is with an O-U-Z at the end. Gotcha. She is a... like

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a wonderful singer.  sings classical Arabic music and then later in her career did a little

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bit, know, her, had a, her, weirdly her husband and her son both wrote music for her.  Both

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of them. was not just, it was a family affair. And when you get into the later music that

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her son wrote, it has a little bit of like more Western influence. There was some Egyptian

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influence. So I'd say she is the most important Lebanese  musician  recorded, you know. Like,

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I mean, maybe there are old ones that we don't actually know. Of the period of time when the

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recordings existed, would say Feynus is the most important  Lebanese musician. And she's

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just...  such a wonderful singer and I actually on my master's recital sang  a piece that she

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sang  called Athenean Naya Wa Rane. So you're good? My mom drilled the pronunciation into

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me and it's so hard. Formal Arabic is really  hard. And that is a very classical Arabic

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song. The poetry is from a book called The Prophet by Khalil Gibran, who is a Lebanese author.

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It's what I would say is  closest to what you would call an art song  for Arabic, for classical

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Arabic music. No, it's not going to sound like Schubert, that is what it is like. Classical

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Arabic art song. And I sang it at my recital. And I remember, like, my parents brought like

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half the Lebanese community. Yes, OK. I was about to say I do. remember your recital. Yeah,

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I remember. was like, man, Brenda has a big family. That was like a third of the Lebanese

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community in Baltimore. And, you know, I had just like these people coming up to me and

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being like that. I was crying, you I can't believe you sang that song. And so, yeah, she's  she's

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just very important to our our culture musically.  I can shout out my favorite  Egypt, I would

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say, actually in the Middle East is like the epicenter of media, television, music, film.

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It's Egypt. They just they they really have a great industry over there. And when he's

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an older singer as well, but  Abdul Khalim Hafez, he was a singer and an actor and he just has

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some really great music as well, classical and also some jazzy stuff. yeah, that's the music

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part. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm glad you brought up your recital too, because I was like, yeah,

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do. I remember that I couldn't fully remember, but I remember you saying something in Arabic

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and that like, but I I just remember when we came out of your recital  and I think you were

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taking pictures with people. was like, man, that is a lot of people. But that's really

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nice.  I think that's another great thing about a lot of immigrant communities. They just like

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to congregate and support each other. yeah, that's really nice.  I'm going to ask something

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that is probably a difficult question. Alyssa always says it's difficult, but maybe you'll

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have an answer.  expression? Is there like a Lebanese saying or expression that you really

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like?  Um,  I know a lot of curses.  Alex said that too or something. I'm not going to say

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the curses.  I think it's become kind of a meme, especially since the World Cup was held in

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Qatar.  Qatar last World Cup. Soccer is a huge part of Arabic culture in general.  I think,

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don't know. might talk about soccer at some point too. The word has become a meme and the

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word is Yalla.  Oh, okay. And it means, it literally means let's go.  Like that if you were conjugating

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it, Yalla means, oh my God, I hope that's what it means. No, I think you're right. I think

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you're right. Cause we had another guest, Alex, who's also like half Lebanese and Yeah, he

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mentioned that as his expression as well. was it Alex Harden? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember

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I've never heard his last name like that. That's cool. I mean, I think that's how he says it.

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That probably is how you pronounce it. Because his dad is the one that's from... Right, no,

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I know, but I've never heard it properly pronounced. No, I know me either. Yeah. Yeah, I remember

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him. He was a violinist, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So, yeah, Yallad, it's like... Every,

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every, and you say, Yalla, like, let's go, you know, it's in every context you can use it.

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You can be annoyed, you can be excited, you can be mad, everything. yeah, I think that's,

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Yalla Habibi, like  Habibi means my love.  Yeah. That's,  that's, what am I, that's like  the

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most popular, I think. And then I will say, cause I feel like all immigrant children have

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this kind of thing where it's like, a word that you didn't really understand the context,

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what it meant, but you understood that the context was bad.  you know, and so something my dad

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specifically will say to me is, that literally means you're free.  But it's like, you knew

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that it You knew that you were making a wrong choice if you go to your dad. If you go to

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dad and it was like, dad, can I go take, can I take the car and do this thing? he's like,

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no.  I always thought it meant no.  yeah. I love hearing stories from other people like

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that. It's like, oh yeah. That's so funny. Yeah.  It's kind of like,  Oh,  if you wish, like

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if you want to.  Yeah,  that's funny. Nice, nice.  So I think we'll go to our last question

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now, and that is, do you have a happy place  in Lebanon that when you visited, that's kind

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of just a place that feels really comfortable to you? Yeah, I have a really good, I have

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one that I'll never forget.  There's a university in the center of Beirut,  which both of my

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parents attended, called the American University of Beirut, AUB.  And on that campus, there

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is  an enormous banyan tree. I don't know if you know what a banyan tree is, but it's like

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very viney  and like very easy to climb, essentially.  And  I loved climbing that tree. I absolutely

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loved it. My mom would get so scared, but I loved climbing that tree. they, when I remember

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when as a kid, whenever we would go to Beirut, we would always stop on campus. My  great aunt

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lived really close to campus. you we would always at least visit her and then go to the campus

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and walk around. And I just, that tree, I will never forget that tree. That is like an important

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tree in my formative years.  And I think that's, you know, the flag of Lebanon has a cedar tree

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on it. The cedars of Lebanon, they're mentioned in the Bible quite a few times, as my aunt

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loves to tell me. But for me, the tree is a banyan tree in the middle of Ayupi. Very cool.

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I some endearing stories with that one. We I like that. And the connection to the flag.

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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think when we ask Alex about what he... Remember, we usually ask the question

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about what do you usually do? Sometimes we ask, like, what is it something that you do in...

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your parents' country that you wouldn't do here. think he said that's the first time he smoked

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weed or something. was hilarious. That was hilarious. So anyway, yeah. Yeah, we get some great interesting

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answers. I had my first beer in Lebanon, so because the drinking age is, I think, 17. So,

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oh, OK. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, it's so much lower. Yeah, it doesn't make no sense why it's

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21 here.  Everyone from other countries is like, Yeah.  Yeah.  But on that note,  thank you

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so much, Renda, for coming today and  sharing your stories. It was so nice to talk to you.

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Thank you. Thank you for being here. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much, you guys. It

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was really great talking to you and I don't get to always talk about... my how I feel about

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Lebanon and you my my origins. So it's really nice to have a place, a platform to talk about

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this stuff. And I and I wish you both well with your with the, you know, process. I hate hate

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editing. So yeah, yes. But  this was really fun. And if you ever want me back to talk about

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other stuff, let me know.  All right. So thank you.  Thank you. Thank you.