Harnessing Your Unfair Advantage | Growing Up With Iraqi Parents feat. Hasan
In this episode of Culture in Between, Hasan Kubba, author of The Unfair Advantage, describes his upbringing as a child of Iraqi immigrants in London. He tells us the differences between the immigrant experience in the UK vs. the US, why he views his parentsβ decision to move to England as his unfair advantage, and how he ended up pursuing entrepreneurship after initially wanting to become a doctor.
Where to find our Guest- Book: https://www.amazon.com/The-Unfair-Advantage/dp/1788167546
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/startuphasan/
- Website: https://www.hasankubba.com/
- Culture In Between Website
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- 00:00-Intro
- 00:38-Hasan Intro
- 03:20-Where are your parents from?
- 03:50-Moving from Iraq to London
- 05:58-Did you have family in London?
- 06:20-Background in Iraq
- 09:25-Visiting Iraq as an adult
- 10:40-Feeling different growing up in London
- 12:10-Iraqi community in London
- 13:30-How were your previous visits to Iraq?
- 18:35-Time capsule
- 20:40-Speaking Arabic
- 22:20-Choosing a Career Path
- 34:51-Unfair Advantages
- 39:33-Innate Indebtedness
- 42:55-Best of both worlds
- 46:20-WIERD book on Western culture
- 49:35-Differences between UK and US immigrant experiences
- 54:18-Race categorization in UK vs US
- 59:35-Favorites foods
- 01:04:00-Who is your favorite celebrity?
- 01:04:55-Favorite saying or expression
- 01:07:15-Where's your happy place in Iraq?
- 01:09:35-Outro
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*Disclaimer: We value featuring the genuine viewpoints of our guests. As such, please note that the thoughts and opinions of our guests may not always reflect our own thoughts and opinions as hosts.
0:15 β 0:20 Hello and welcome to Culture In Between, a podcast that explores the unique experiences of people 0:20 β 0:24 who have grown up in a culture outside of their parents' culture. We are your hosts, Alyssa 0:24 β 0:28 and Brianna, and we are super stoked to get to talk with Hasan Kubba, whose parents are 0:28 β 0:32 from Iraq. Hasan, thank you so much for joining us. We're really excited to get to chat with 0:32 β 0:38 you today. Thanks for having me. It's a pleasure. Yeah. So I'll give a brief introduction to 0:38 β 0:43 you, but Hasan is the award-winning author, consultant, and coach. He is the co-author 0:43 β 0:47 of... The Unfair Advantage, how you already have what it takes to succeed. I have it here 0:47 β 0:53 on my Kindle. I first heard about this book when Ali Abdelal reviewed it in his book review 0:53 β 1:00 series. And it is an amazing book. has thousands of five star Amazon and Goodreads reviews, 1:00 β 1:04 one business book of the year, all these things, all these accolades. It's a really great book. 1:04 β 1:09 We will share a link to it in the description. Hasan, I've gone over some brief accolades 1:09 β 1:14 about you, but is there anything you would like to add before we dive into the interview? 1:14 β 1:20 Um, no, think you've covered it. What I like to say is that I'm an, I say in the book as 1:20 β 1:25 well, I'm an unnatural entrepreneur. I basically took an online course and started. So if you 1:25 β 1:30 feel like, like me, if you feel like, oh, you weren't always hustling, selling stuff, buying 1:30 β 1:34 stuff, doing stuff when you're young, that's okay. You can just learn to do it. And that's 1:34 β 1:41 what I've done. Um, but I kind of a bit more of a solo entrepreneur type consultant. I mean, 1:41 β 1:46 I have a bit of a team. but it's not like a huge, mean, entrepreneurship is more of a spectrum 1:46 β 1:52 than a binary, are you an entrepreneur or not? But I kind of have bit of a team and now 1:52 β 1:57 I've niched down to coaching and consulting people on getting a book deal, on becoming 1:57 β 2:01 authors themselves, on sharing their expertise and credibility, coming up with great concepts, 2:01 β 2:07 whether it's non-fiction, which is my usual, but also some fiction authors recently. So 2:07 β 2:11 that's been really, really fun, but I've done a whole other thing of... been a business 2:11 β 2:18 coach to YouTubers, to startup founders, especially focused on marketing strategy, that kind of 2:18 β 2:22 side and organic content. So that's my favorite stuff to talk about. And that's kind of my 2:22 β 2:29 background. Awesome. Brianna has a pipe dream of like writing to write a book one day and 2:29 β 2:34 she's like, I've never, you should, I'm just saying. It just feels so daunting, but one 2:34 β 2:42 of these days. Yeah. I'm just saying. It's daunting. That's why I help people with it, 2:42 β 2:47 because it's something that's easy to do something good. To do something any old how, any old 2:47 β 2:52 way is fine. But doing something that you're proud of and that maybe you can get a book 2:52 β 2:56 deal out of, that you can become a bestseller out of, it's not easy. And that's why it's 2:56 β 3:03 a fun area for me to be in right now and consulting. All right. Well, this might be a little bit 3:03 β 3:08 of a different interview for you because we're pretty laser focused on talking about culture 3:08 β 3:14 and your cultural background, but we will get into entrepreneurship as well. But we always 3:14 β 3:20 like to start the podcast by asking our guests where exactly their parents are from and where 3:20 β 3:25 you grew up. So can you tell us where exactly in Iraq your parents are from and where you 3:25 β 3:31 grew up? Sure. This is fun for me to talk about actually. My parents are from Baghdad, the 3:31 β 3:38 capital of Iraq. And that's where I was born as well. Do you have a lot of memory? know 3:38 β 3:43 I know it's I'm trying to draw the line between I read the book and not everyone probably has. 3:43 β 3:48 So I know the answer to some of these questions. But so you mentioned that, you you moved to 3:49 β 3:54 England at the age of three. But like, do you remember being in Iraq at all? I don't remember 3:54 β 4:00 Iraq. I have like this. I think we moved on the way to. So essentially there was the Gulf 4:00 β 4:08 War. Well, actually, so I was born And in those three years, I lived through two wars, 4:08 β 4:16 finally. There was the Iran-Iraq war. And then there was the what's usually in the West 4:16 β 4:24 called the Gulf War, which is when, which is in around 91. It's when Saddam Hussein invaded 4:24 β 4:32 Kuwait, this tiny little neighboring country next to Iraq. And as soon as that second war 4:32 β 4:37 was over, my parents were like, we're out of here. know, so they were privileged enough 4:37 β 4:42 to be able to have the ability to leave, um, in terms of financially, in terms of, know, 4:42 β 4:50 just the get up and go nature of it. Um, and so, yeah, we, as soon as we were able to travel 4:50 β 4:55 opened up again, after that war ended, we got out of there and we're very lucky that we 4:55 β 5:02 did. And so, um, the way it worked is that we, they crossed the border into the neighboring 5:02 β 5:09 country, Jordan. And I think we were there for a few months and then came over to London. 5:09 β 5:13 And I don't really remember Iraq. No, I just see photos and stuff. So I don't know if they're 5:13 β 5:18 like Phantom memories or just the photos. But I remember like, for some reason, there's a 5:18 β 5:23 little snippet of a memory of when we were in Jordan. Weirdly, we were only there for a few 5:23 β 5:27 months, but I guess I was a little bit older. So I just have a glimpse of a memory there 5:27 β 5:32 and maybe some glimpse of memories. Iraq as well, but I'm not sure if they're really my 5:32 β 5:37 memories or whether they're just looking at photos and just thinking, I remember it. So 5:37 β 5:44 yeah, it's my born and birth, like pretty, not really, not literally born, but grew up in 5:44 β 5:48 London in England. And that's just where I've always known to be home. And that's where I've 5:48 β 5:54 always lived. Apart from some, I've done quite a bit of traveling, but in terms of where I've 5:54 β 5:59 actually had as a base, it's always been in London and England. Did you have relatives 5:59 β 6:04 in London? what, why was London the next choice for your parents to go to? Cause I know- We 6:04 β 6:10 we did. My uncle lived here. Okay. And so we were able to come and join him and then the 6:10 β 6:15 rest of like my mom's family were here. And I think maybe some of my dad's family as well, 6:16 β 6:22 a few like for more extended relatives. Um, but essentially look, to give you some background, 6:22 β 6:27 Iraq is not a poor country. It wasn't a poor country. fact, especially in the seventies, 6:27 β 6:33 let's say it was at a peak, um, where they were very wealthy. It was a kind of like the Dubai 6:33 β 6:39 and the Qatar and the Saudi Arabia of its time, because it has a ton of oil. Like it's not 6:39 β 6:46 an unwell and it's not just oil. Like it's not just new rich. Iraq has a lot of history. First 6:46 β 6:51 of all, like the cradle of civilization, all these ancient civilizations started there because 6:51 β 6:55 there's two rivers that run through it. So there was a lot of like, um, The oldest city in the 6:55 β 7:01 world is in Iraq. Writing was invented in Iraq. It was like, there's all these different things 7:01 β 7:04 that come from Iraq. It's kind of like, you know how ancient Egypt? Yeah. Like think of 7:04 β 7:09 the Babylonians, Sumerians, Akkadians. That was all Iraq. So Iraq has a lot of history. 7:09 β 7:14 That's ancient history, but there's also more recent history in the Islamic golden age, which 7:14 β 7:20 is around a thousand years ago. It was like way ahead of Europe. was way ahead. was scientific, 7:20 β 7:25 you know, center point of the world. And, um, you know, just to kind of give that a little 7:25 β 7:32 bit of background to it. And what happened is that even let's jump all the way forward 7:32 β 7:38 to like the 1970s, things were super well developed. They used to come to the UK in the summers 7:38 β 7:41 and like, so it wasn't something new. They'd already been, my parents used to travel to 7:41 β 7:49 the U S to the UK. They were from a middle or upper middle-class family in Baghdad. So Yeah, 7:49 β 7:53 just to give that overview, because people kind of think, oh, like a war-torn country. No, 7:53 β 8:00 it's not like that. It's became war-torn. It had all these issues. But the reality is that 8:00 β 8:03 it's, even right now, it's developing super fast because there's wealth, there's money 8:03 β 8:07 there. Just thought I'd give that background to No, yeah, I appreciate that. That's really 8:07 β 8:11 great. I think that's, you know, good for us to learn. That's why I always love doing these 8:11 β 8:15 interviews. I feel like I learned so much. And yes, I think people do think, oh, war-torn. 8:15 β 8:20 this and that and have preconceived notion about it. So that's great to hear that background. 8:20 β 8:25 Yes, I agree as well that it's really good to give that background because I think a lot 8:25 β 8:29 of people do have there's a lot of misconceptions about Iraq and really that part of the world 8:29 β 8:36 in general. And I would say, I mean, why I had asked specifically why if you had relatives 8:36 β 8:41 in England is because, you know, for our parents moving to the U.S. it's very common that like 8:41 β 8:47 immigrants is like if they are, you know, leaving their country, it's like, where are people 8:47 β 8:52 that I know residing in at the moment? So I just was curious if they were kind of the first 8:52 β 8:56 ones to go there not. yeah. Yeah. And I was curious if you have any siblings, did you have 8:56 β 9:02 any siblings that are older than you that lived in Iraq or now? No, younger than me. I have 9:02 β 9:09 younger siblings. And yeah, so like one of my siblings was born in Iraq and the other 9:09 β 9:14 was born in London. Okay. I'm the eldest. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So they... They definitely don't 9:14 β 9:21 remember because of you. Okay, gotcha. So, wow. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. So even though... 9:21 β 9:27 It's been really... Sorry to jump in, but it's been really, really interesting to visit Iraq 9:27 β 9:37 again as an adult. So like there was basically a huge gap where I went once in 2009 and 9:37 β 9:43 that was just one visit. And then more recently, I went in 2023. And that was really, really 9:43 β 9:47 fascinating how much it's developed, how much it's getting better, how much it's improving. 9:48 β 9:53 And there's still in many ways, still some ways to go, but you'd be surprised how it developed 9:53 β 10:00 and how nice different parts of like Baghdad are like right now. Like it's crazy. And you 10:00 β 10:06 can argue that quality of life for some people there is better than here in the UK, which 10:06 β 10:13 is, you know, can be hard to believe, but it's just plain old truth. No, that's great. definitely 10:13 β 10:18 we were going to dive into if you visited, which now we know that is the case, but we'll definitely 10:18 β 10:24 dive in more into your experiences there because I'm definitely curious. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. 10:25 β 10:29 But before we get to that, I think I wanted to ask, you know, even though you mentioned 10:29 β 10:35 that you don't have really memories of being a child in New York and you feel like a kind 10:35 β 10:41 of almost like a born and bred Londoner, even though you weren't born there, do you? Remember 10:41 β 10:47 though, feeling different in like growing up in London, did you have a feeling of, I feel 10:47 β 10:53 like a Londoner, but other people maybe don't view me that way? A hundred percent. A hundred 10:53 β 10:59 percent. felt very different. I felt like I didn't fit in. I felt like I didn't have the 10:59 β 11:06 cultural background. I felt like I didn't have the, some of the words and the understanding 11:06 β 11:12 because you know, at home we just spoke Arabic. And we just had our own culture. And actually 11:12 β 11:17 we were in, um, in a city, London. And so it was very much very diverse. London is a very 11:17 β 11:22 diverse place because of the British empire. Essentially we actually have a lot of Jamaicans. 11:22 β 11:27 have a lot of, um, basically let's put it this way. They have lot of East Indies and West 11:27 β 11:34 Indies. like Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, but also a lot of like Jamaicans and you know, 11:34 β 11:42 other kind of Caribbean, um, African. It's different types of Europeans. London's always, 11:42 β 11:50 you know, since I came in the nineties, been a huge melting pot. And I always felt different. 11:50 β 11:55 always felt like, even though it was this kind of environment, I still felt like I wanted 11:55 β 12:01 to fit in. I still felt insecure about my parents' accent when they spoke in English and stuff 12:01 β 12:09 like that. So I definitely felt that. Like you mentioned, London is very multicultural. 12:09 β 12:17 was your family kind of involved in the different communities there? there a sizable Iraqi 12:17 β 12:24 community? And how was that dynamic? Yeah, there was. There is a sizable Iraq community in 12:24 β 12:34 London. And we were very much integrated into that. yeah, there's every community. An outsider 12:34 β 12:40 wouldn't just... To give a random example, like there's a lot of Brazilians in London, but 12:40 β 12:45 I wasn't, I didn't know that growing up. But once you meet Brazilians, they're like, Oh 12:45 β 12:51 my God, London's full of Brazilians. mean, Brazil is a country with a very big population anyway. 12:51 β 12:59 Um, but my point is like every, that's how London is. Every kind of nationality has sizable 12:59 β 13:05 community in London. It's a very, like in the States, you guys think of New York and maybe 13:05 β 13:09 some other places as well as being a melting pot and very diverse. think London is more 13:09 β 13:14 than New York. I've been to New York and yeah, it is very diverse. London is even more so. 13:14 β 13:20 So it's quite interesting. Yeah. So there definitely was an Iraqi community and we were 13:20 β 13:26 part of that. And that's what we plugged into. That's cool. Nice. Yeah. So I do want to go 13:26 β 13:35 back to how you said you visited. So can you tell us about those visits to Iraq and maybe 13:35 β 13:41 how those came about and revisiting family or whatever? Yeah. If you still have family there 13:41 β 13:47 and then like if you do, how you retreat it. Because a common trope we kind of see is that 13:47 β 13:51 like, you you go back to your parents country and it's like sometimes they make fun of you 13:51 β 13:56 for not being, you know, oh, well, you like for us, it'd be like you're too Americanized 13:56 β 14:02 and all this stuff. So just curious. Yeah. The experiences you've had. Oh yeah, 100%. So 14:02 β 14:07 look, I really think like this, I've thought about this a lot and it's interesting because 14:08 β 14:15 socioeconomic background plays a big role. and that gives you privilege. So we came to 14:15 β 14:21 London without, my dad came with like 200 pounds, which is like roughly like 300 bucks or something, 14:21 β 14:27 something like that, right? In his pocket. Like we didn't have wealth. And we kind of just 14:27 β 14:35 kind of struggled to get by and built slowly because my dad was able to get a new degree, 14:35 β 14:44 a new post-grad degree. And he moved. He's an engineer. And then he went into I.T. And that 14:44 β 14:48 was great. And he even eventually started working for Microsoft back in the Microsoft heydays 14:48 β 14:54 of the year 2000. So we were able to slowly. start building up slowly with it. We became 14:54 β 14:59 British citizens, slowly we were able to go on holiday and to afford our own house. so 14:59 β 15:04 that sort of thing. So we developed slowly. So we didn't come with a lot of wealth. However, 15:05 β 15:12 even though we didn't come with money in the pocket, we did have that very educated, very 15:12 β 15:18 like, like I said, middle upper class background of, so it's like the kind of Baghdad elite. 15:19 β 15:26 And that helped. because my parents were very academic. They were able to push us into working 15:26 β 15:33 hard here and doing well in school and et cetera. Why I mentioned that is because what happens 15:33 β 15:38 with immigration is it happens in waves. And the ones who have the ability and the money 15:38 β 15:43 to leave earlier are usually the more privileged and you end up having a brain drain. So it's 15:43 β 15:48 the more educated, the more higher status jobs, the higher status positions in society leave 15:48 β 15:54 first. So it really can destroy and really affect country when this happens. That's why 15:54 β 16:02 wars can be so in addition to the actual casualties of the war, but you also have these second 16:02 β 16:08 order effects of like people leaving and having a brain drain. So yeah, so the early immigrants 16:08 β 16:13 like my family, and there's even one die even earlier from the seventies or whatever, like 16:13 β 16:19 your parents went to the US in the seventies. They're different. compared to the ones that 16:19 β 16:27 came after the 2003 war, compared to the ones that came even after that. And so the other 16:27 β 16:31 difference to talk about is for most, I mean, the U.S. is a little bit different, but for 16:31 β 16:37 most countries, the difference between the capital city and the rest of the country is a huge 16:37 β 16:41 difference. Like the provinces is like less educated, it's a little bit more backward, 16:41 β 16:47 it's more conservative, it's more et cetera. Whereas the, we're from the capital. And we're 16:47 β 16:54 from like that kind of background where it was more Westernized. And so when you go into an 16:54 β 16:59 immigrant community, so like in London, we would be mixing with people from all different parts 16:59 β 17:03 of Iraq, which my parents wouldn't have mixed with necessarily in Iraq. But there are these 17:03 β 17:07 kinds of differences that you start to notice. And then when you go back to visit, what happens 17:07 β 17:12 is the culture, the accent, the what's cool, what isn't cool is not on pause. It continues 17:12 β 17:18 to evolve. You become like this funny time capsule. of an immigrant community where you 17:18 β 17:22 have your own slang, like the slang from the nineties, from the early nineties or something. 17:23 β 17:27 And they're like, you sound different. So when we go back, you're asking how it was like to 17:27 β 17:32 go back. They're like, where are you from? You don't sound like you're from, like to my 17:32 β 17:38 parents who obviously speak really fluently with a proper native accent. They're like, 17:38 β 17:42 where are from? Like, because the accent has evolved, they have the accent from then. There's 17:42 β 17:48 a funny thing to, these are subtle differences, but it's picked up by locals. Um, so yeah, 17:48 β 17:54 it was really interesting to go back and to feel a bit like an outsider, but at the same 17:54 β 17:58 time to feel at home. So we would go to like the mosque in London, where it will be like 17:58 β 18:05 an Iraqi mosque where you hear the Iraqi dialect of Arabic spoken. So it weird to go to a country 18:05 β 18:08 where everyone talks like that. You're like, what am I at the mosque? Like this is weird. 18:10 β 18:15 It's an interesting feeling. It's an interesting thing. You do feel you have that, you know, 18:15 β 18:18 I guess that's why they call them third culture, because you do have this whole, you don't really 18:18 β 18:23 fit in here, you don't really fit in there, you just your own thing. And that's the truth, 18:23 β 18:28 and that's the reality of how it is. We don't fully fit, even my parents don't fully fit 18:28 β 18:34 in there, they're just like, oh, we kind of fit in with the London Iraqis now. Yeah. That's 18:34 β 18:37 it is. That point about the time capsule is... Yes, we've talked about that before. Yeah, 18:37 β 18:42 that's really interesting how you've mentioned that, how we feel like we have, I don't know, 18:42 β 18:47 with mom and dad, like... their version, guess, 70s version. Yeah, our parents moved to the 18:47 β 18:54 US in the 70s and they've gone back a lot. know, that was a really long time ago. And 18:54 β 18:58 so they, you know, yeah, they definitely don't know a lot of like the latest slang. And when 18:58 β 19:03 we've gone back to Jamaica, it's yeah, it's a similar situation where like, people don't 19:03 β 19:10 necessarily like act like my mom or our parents are necessarily like foreigners, but They 19:10 β 19:15 would kind of be like, my mom does this thing where she puts on like an American accent all 19:15 β 19:20 the time. like, especially when she's out with other people. And so she would do that in Jamaica 19:20 β 19:25 sometimes. like, stop it. We're trying to blend in. Like, stop doing that. And they could 19:25 β 19:30 just tell, you know, yeah, just from like how you dress and all these things. Skin tone even, 19:30 β 19:36 I think there are things which is interesting to me. Yeah, even our skin tone, Like they 19:36 β 19:40 were like, oh, we can see that the sun hasn't been hitting you the same way. Like it's just 19:40 β 19:47 very, the thing like before we even opened our mouths, they could tell. um, yeah, I think 19:47 β 19:54 that that is very, and likewise there is a skin color difference and there is a difference 19:54 β 19:59 in how we dress. There's a difference in how we walk. It's, it's subtle things. Something 19:59 β 20:03 that's not so subtle is it's now getting better. Actually now they do start to, they've improved 20:03 β 20:06 in this aspect, but it used to be like, you just reach for the seatbelt. They're like, 20:06 β 20:14 Oh, where are from? You reach for the seatbelt like, what are doing? Where are from? know, 20:14 β 20:18 stuff like that. Like, they've improved now. Their safety stuff has become a bit better. 20:18 β 20:22 But yeah, that was definitely the case. So just like little things, little things that you 20:22 β 20:27 won't pick up on. Even just how big people greet each other. I just said, how are you doing? 20:28 β 20:33 Something like that. And they were like, oh, where are from? And I'm Iraqi Arabic, but they 20:33 β 20:39 don't say it like that anymore. It's just fascinating. It is fascinating. So you've mentioned you 20:39 β 20:42 speak... Okay. So you speak Arabic. Was that a big deal for your parents for you to like 20:42 β 20:48 speak the language? Are you pretty fluent? Yeah. Yeah. Because if they had done the whole thing 20:48 β 20:53 of like, no, we're in England now. We would have only spoken English. Whereas now I'm a 20:53 β 21:00 hundred percent fluent in English and I'm let's say 70, 80 % fluent in Arabic, um, which has 21:00 β 21:05 actually improved recently. So it used to be a bit more like shaky. Um, like, know, like 21:05 β 21:10 kind of pulling up the vocab and remembering the right words. way of saying it. Yeah, it's 21:10 β 21:17 it's definitely better. Yeah. So your mother tongue at home because you get to retain both 21:17 β 21:22 and stay bilingual, which is awesome. Yeah, I love that. I think it's I think sometimes 21:22 β 21:25 parents do a disservice when they don't allow their kids. I understand the reasoning behind 21:25 β 21:29 this one to kind of assimilate and all that. But I think it it's harder for the children 21:29 β 21:33 in the future when they maybe come across people who are from the same country and they're like, 21:33 β 21:37 wait, you don't speak this language. That's interesting. You know, so that's great. OK, 21:37 β 21:44 very cool. And I want to start getting into some of the things you've talked about in 21:44 β 21:51 your book. And one of the things that jumped out at me was you talked about how the two 21:51 β 21:59 main jobs that Iraqis and most immigrant parents really... consider for their kids as good 21:59 β 22:04 jobs are like doctor and engineer and that your parents actually baked you like a doctor cake 22:04 β 22:10 when you were one year old, which I've never heard of. But that's that seems yeah, like 22:10 β 22:17 extreme. They wanted you to have a prestigious career. Yeah. So yeah, could you talk about 22:17 β 22:22 maybe kind of the pressure that you had on you to become a doctor or at least do one of those 22:22 β 22:30 two jobs and how you ended up deciding not to go in that direction? Sure, yeah. So I think 22:30 β 22:34 technically it was my parents explained that it was actually my grandfather who did it. 22:35 β 22:38 It's not like a typical thing. think it's just an unusual thing that we did. It's not like 22:38 β 22:44 this is in Iraqi culture. I don't know. But I think it's normal to say, oh, you're going 22:44 β 22:48 to grow up and be a doctor. Like that was normal. That was like, you know, it's just, I think 22:48 β 22:53 it's normal even in like Western society to kind of, just if you just go back a few generations, 22:53 β 22:58 was normal to do stuff like that. Like it was just like nowadays we will have maybe too much 22:58 β 23:03 of an emphasis on like, choose your own fate, know, pick your own thing. Follow your dreams. 23:03 β 23:10 Maybe the pendulum swung too far now. But I'm going to be fair to my parents and say 23:10 β 23:14 they actually didn't put any pressure on me to be honest, no direct. It was just incepted 23:14 β 23:20 into my mind. And then I chose to be a doctor. It was like, I didn't feel any actual pressure, 23:20 β 23:25 but I think it was all, you know, it was all like unsaid and it was all like little nudges 23:25 β 23:31 maybe. But they were, my parents have been very sweet and very like giving us the freedom 23:31 β 23:35 to do whatever, but they were shocked. So what happened is I was always good at science at 23:35 β 23:40 school. And then, uh, and I just, I just didn't feel like I didn't have enough direction in 23:40 β 23:46 terms of career. I was the eldest. So even in terms of my cousins and stuff, I was the eldest. 23:46 β 23:51 So kind of had nobody to sort of mentor me, guide me into that whole. career thing and 23:51 β 23:54 my parents obviously haven't been through that because they just came here as immigrants. 23:54 β 24:00 didn't go to university in that same way here. And so I just didn't have enough support to 24:00 β 24:02 make that decision. I didn't know what to choose. And in the UK, you have to choose much earlier 24:02 β 24:08 than in the US. In the US, you can kind of go to college, like university, and then you 24:08 β 24:15 kind of decide what your major is later or something. We don't have that. You choose the subject 24:15 β 24:24 at... 18, not even at 18, at like 17, you have to kind of apply. So, um, so I didn't know 24:24 β 24:27 what to choose. And I was like, Oh, I guess I'm good at science and saving people's lives 24:27 β 24:32 is great. let me be a doctor. Um, the problem is I decided that too late and didn't get the 24:32 β 24:39 relevant experience that you need, the extracurriculars and stuff like that. Um, so, uh, so in the 24:39 β 24:43 UK, you can go straight to medicine. You guys have a different system where it's pre-med. 24:43 β 24:48 So I essentially went to what is essentially pre-med. Um, and then six months into that, 24:48 β 24:53 I just dropped out and said, wait, this isn't for me. I don't want a life of just like doctors, 24:53 β 24:57 hospitals. I noticed that doctors lives are very insular and I wanted to learn more about 24:57 β 25:05 the world. Um, and the exams were coming up and I wasn't studying. So dropped out and 25:05 β 25:12 they were shocked. Um, but, and I felt very directionless at the time and I just didn't 25:12 β 25:16 know what to choose and all do. And I decided to do economics because I didn't know what 25:16 β 25:20 it was and it sounded interesting. And I kind of looked it up and it says, there's something 25:20 β 25:25 about allocating resources efficiently in society. And I was like, Ooh, and it's about money 25:25 β 25:30 and stuff like that. And I was like, okay, this is interesting. And I specifically chose a 25:30 β 25:35 university that focuses on developing countries. So it has like a focus on middle East, China, 25:36 β 25:42 Asia, Africa, that kind of thing. So, um, I applied for that university and I didn't 25:42 β 25:48 have any backups. Like I didn't like have any plan B. was like, I want to go to so it's called 25:48 β 25:53 so as university, the school of Oriental and African studies, which is essentially it was 25:53 β 26:00 set up, I think in the 1920s or thirties to manage the British empire. So it was actually 26:00 β 26:05 like this whole school of Oriental and African studies. And I decided I want to do economics 26:05 β 26:11 there. It was quite, it's a good university for economics. And, um, and I applied, you 26:11 β 26:18 know, the deadline was like, beginning of the year. And I remember I applied in like May 26:18 β 26:23 or June. So way past the deadline because I dropped out of university. And then I had like, 26:23 β 26:31 was one grade short, but I decided to, to, to, you know, what's the right phrase to kind 26:31 β 26:38 of sneak or talk my way in. Yeah. I looked up the undergraduate admissions tutor and I'm 26:38 β 26:43 kind of old. So this is before everybody had their picture on the internet, but he did. 26:43 β 26:48 He had this fuzzy pixelated picture. I found it on the website and it said his office hours, 26:48 β 26:55 which is for students, not for anyone, but I just showed up and I convinced him and I convinced 26:55 β 26:59 him that I want to get in and why I want to get in and I want to help Iraq and all these 26:59 β 27:06 things. I prepared this little spiel and it worked and I got in and, um, and then I had 27:06 β 27:11 another dilemma of what do I do after doing economics? Because typically the people work 27:11 β 27:16 in what's the equivalent of Wall Street here in the UK, which is it's called the city of 27:16 β 27:21 London. It's where all the banks and the investment firms and hedge funds and all of that stuff 27:21 β 27:28 is. And it didn't appeal to me. And so I went down this whole other path of like, when I 27:28 β 27:35 graduated, I kind of didn't get a job. just, I just waited and kind of explored what I 27:35 β 27:41 might do. And then I found this online course, which was all about setting up a freedom business. 27:41 β 27:47 And it was kind of inspired by the Tim Ferriss' four hour work week. If you guys are familiar 27:47 β 27:53 with that. And yeah, I just took the plunge. was $2,000 at the time, which was a hell of 27:53 β 27:57 a lot of money for me. Think about this. This is 2012. So this is like before inflation. 27:58 β 28:04 It was like five grand. And I just went for it. And it was tough, but I got there in the 28:04 β 28:08 end and I just carved my own path. It was all because I didn't want to have a job. I didn't 28:08 β 28:14 want a boss. I didn't want to... I saw working for a bank or something like that, a way to 28:14 β 28:19 make rich people richer and no work-life balance. And I didn't want that. And that's essentially 28:19 β 28:23 what motivated me. So yeah, that was my kind of journey. was like, I didn't want to be a 28:23 β 28:29 doctor anymore. And then I just kind of mess, you know, just kind of floundered and figured 28:29 β 28:34 things out and just kept working at it and follow, know, carve my own path in that way. I love 28:34 β 28:40 this. now we're there now in 2025 it's been 11 years now since I've had a proper job and 28:40 β 28:45 a proper boss. It feels good. Yeah, yeah. That's so cool. Yeah, I know touching on parts of 28:45 β 28:49 the book that we read. So a few things that you mentioned there that really stood out is, 28:49 β 28:56 I know in the book you mentioned, Dr. Engineer were the two, we have the three. Dr. Teacher 28:56 β 29:00 Lawyer, no, Dr. Engineer Lawyer. Though I think mom would sometimes say Dr. Teacher Lawyer 29:00 β 29:07 because her mother was a teacher in Jamaica. So those are the top three. For her and I 29:07 β 29:10 love that you you took the course on how to start your own business then like that was 29:10 β 29:14 really your Initial investment what kind of stands out to me there is that even though 29:14 β 29:17 you know you mentioned like they really know what you wanted to do you kind of floundering 29:17 β 29:22 Actually have a minor in economics. I understand that interest in like wanting to learn about 29:22 β 29:30 money and stuff like that like you still knew it sounds like What you did not want to 29:30 β 29:34 do? I guess, which isn't even though you weren't like quite sure what you did. Yeah, you were 29:34 β 29:38 like, I know I don't want to work for a boss like I want to work for myself and kind of 29:38 β 29:43 pave my own path. So that's I find that to be a very interesting parallel just to kind of 29:43 β 29:48 a backtrack a little bit. How did for lack of better term, breaking the news to your parents 29:48 β 29:52 when you told them you were like dropping out of med school and that you didn't have a plan, 29:53 β 30:02 were they supportive? How did they react? Just kind of curious. No. No, actually it's now 30:02 β 30:07 all a blur. Like I don't remember at the moment I told them, like it's all like now just one 30:07 β 30:12 big blur. I remember I was kind of semi depressed because I was just felt directionless. I was 30:12 β 30:15 kind of like just feeling quite low and cause I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. 30:16 β 30:22 Um, and yeah, I just had a little bit angst. It was like, I had a lot of my teenage angst 30:22 β 30:26 and stuff like a bit late, but although that wasn't, that was like 18, but yeah, I kind 30:26 β 30:30 of feel like I had a lot of that teenage angst, but a little bit late. had it like a college. 30:33 β 30:38 14, 15. I had it when I was like 18, 19. So I feel like that's kind of what I went through. 30:40 β 30:44 You know, I just wanted to touch on the whole literally, it's like either doctor or engineer 30:44 β 30:49 in Iraqi culture. And that's very common in kind of developing countries to have like those 30:49 β 30:54 two. Well, even more interesting I found is that they didn't even choose what they become. 30:54 β 30:57 It was based on their grades. So if they were top grades, they'd become a doctor. If it was 30:57 β 31:04 second, it was engineer. If it was third, I don't know what. But like, yeah, it's so interesting 31:04 β 31:10 how, again, taking that whole, you know, we have this whole thing about choice and you 31:10 β 31:13 make your own choice and you call it, what do you like and what's your passion? I wasn't 31:13 β 31:18 even a consideration. It was like, what's your grades? Okay, you're a doctor, next. Yeah, 31:18 β 31:23 that's so true. I mean, because my mother has actually said that before. She's like, I feel 31:23 β 31:27 like sometimes you... Kids in America have too much choice. many. When I was in Jamaica, we 31:27 β 31:32 didn't have all those choices. I'm like, oh, well, you know, she said that a lot to us. 31:32 β 31:37 Like, you guys don't know what to do because you have too many choices. it be a negative. 31:37 β 31:40 Yeah, can be a negative. There's that whole thing about the paradox of choice. It's not 31:40 β 31:48 necessarily a positive thing. can get overwhelmed with kind of decision fatigue or just kind 31:48 β 31:53 of not with all the... I think there was a thing about like... They did this experiment where 31:53 β 31:57 it was like a farmer's market and they had different, different types of jams, like, you know, like 31:57 β 32:02 jellies, jams. And they had like, I think they did an experiment where they had like five 32:02 β 32:07 different flavors and another one they'd had like 20. And they had less sales when there 32:07 β 32:12 was more flavors because people will just be like, uh, and then just choose one. It was 32:12 β 32:16 just too many choices. Whereas if you have five, it's kind of more clear. And so there really 32:16 β 32:21 is such a thing as para, you know, being it's called the paradox of choice. It's just. how 32:21 β 32:26 more choices not necessarily better. It's a skill to narrow your choices down as well. 32:26 β 32:32 Yeah. Yes, it's so true. And I used to think, you know, because my mom would say something 32:32 β 32:36 like, oh, yeah, I always wanted to learn how to play piano. But like, you know, I was so 32:36 β 32:41 focused on going into medicine and stuff. And I used to think like, oh, that's so sad that 32:41 β 32:45 like she didn't have those choices. You know, she had to do this. Like she had. But then 32:45 β 32:49 as I became an adult and I was also not sure about what I wanted to do with my life for 32:49 β 32:55 a very long time. I was like, oh no, I see how this is a problem. Having too many choices. 32:55 β 33:03 I don't know what to do. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also framed a little bit. Look, and there's 33:03 β 33:08 nothing wrong with this. mean, really my choices were very much based on what I wanted. Like 33:08 β 33:12 it was based, it was kind of a selfish, not in a negative, but you know, it's a self-centered 33:12 β 33:16 choice. It's like, what do I want to do with my life? What do I to choose? And I feel like 33:17 β 33:23 that can be too much in Western culture. there isn't enough about duty and about like helping 33:23 β 33:27 others and about what people expect of you. And maybe it is pendulum swinging too far. 33:27 β 33:31 And I think there needs to be some kind of happy medium because I think too much of it is just 33:31 β 33:35 about like, what's in it for me? And even in relationships, like what am I getting out of 33:35 β 33:40 this? If you look at traditional cultures, they don't see it that way. They see it as like 33:40 β 33:46 duties and responsibilities. What people want and what expectations are and that can be, 33:46 β 33:51 know, expectations can be a negative thing too. So Yeah, I just think, you know, we can't go 33:51 β 33:55 too far the other way. Absolutely. Yeah, so interesting. I found that like in the Jamaican 33:55 β 34:00 culture, I'm not sure if it's the same Iraqi culture, but family like taking care of others 34:00 β 34:03 and like, you know, knowing your neighbors and stuff is a big deal. Whereas here it's very 34:03 β 34:07 much. Yeah. Well, to think of the Janet Jackson song. What have you done for me lately? Very 34:07 β 34:13 much sometimes is kind of how we operate. And so, yeah, that's something that's kind of different 34:13 β 34:19 or it's like, oh, yeah, well, you help out this person because you should kind of thing. So, 34:19 β 34:26 yeah, that's very interesting. like you said, it is a matter of kind of finding that happy 34:26 β 34:32 medium because something that we do here a lot with immigrants moving usually to a Western 34:32 β 34:36 country is they're moving for opportunities, right? They're moving to give their kids maybe 34:36 β 34:40 more opportunities. And that kind of leads me to another thing that you mentioned in your 34:40 β 34:45 book is that you mentioned that your unfair advantage or one of your unfair advantages 34:45 β 34:53 is that your parents decided to move. from Baghdad to the UK, can you kind of explain what you 34:53 β 34:58 mean by that being an unfair advantage? Because I think maybe people wouldn't think of it that 34:58 β 35:05 way. Yeah, mean, a lot of where I am today is because of, just as an example, a lot of where 35:05 β 35:11 I am today is because of... I mean, this is just a small, just one small thing that I was 35:11 β 35:15 zooming in on. Like there's so many different things to be grateful for and which are unfair 35:15 β 35:21 advantages. But one tiny thing... is that I speak English with a native British London 35:21 β 35:31 accent. Like I do keynote speaking, I do paid public speaking. And essentially that, it 35:31 β 35:36 just wouldn't have worked as well if I was there with a thick immigrant accent. just probably 35:36 β 35:42 would have been harder. The same with like pitching, the same with like, you know, when I'm trying 35:42 β 35:48 to get business, trying to get clients, again, if I sound educated, I sound native. In America, 35:48 β 35:55 even more so because of that British accent. We love a good British accent. It sounds somehow 35:55 β 36:03 smarter. does. You could like be insulting us. like, so beautiful. There you go. So it's 36:03 β 36:06 that's just one tiny aspect of it, let alone all the opportunities, let alone the fact that 36:06 β 36:12 in the 90s, there were all these sanctions placed on Iraq, which was purportedly to punish Saddam 36:12 β 36:19 Hussein. But who actually got punished? It's not like he got hungry. It's just actual people 36:19 β 36:25 and children were hungry. They asked, there's a clip and you can find it. And I don't remember 36:25 β 36:32 her exact position, some kind of US government, I don't know, Secretary of State or something. 36:32 β 36:35 I don't know what her position is. Madeleine Albright. Oh, I think the UN ambassador for 36:35 β 36:40 the US, something like that. And they asked her point blank, like a million kids have 36:40 β 36:44 died because of these sanctions. Was that worth it? And she's like, yeah, it was worth it. 36:44 β 36:49 This is an American ambassador. And it's just disgusting because you like that's what they 36:49 β 36:53 went through in Iraq. And I would have lived through that myself. Right. I would have lived 36:53 β 36:58 through. And like I said, this is a rich country. This isn't a poor country. And then suddenly 36:58 β 37:05 they're like having malnutrition, you know, in the mid nineties because of these sanctions, 37:05 β 37:11 which was supposed to be punishing Saddam. So it's, I would have lived through that. Right. 37:11 β 37:17 Um, there's so much, there's so much that I would have been affected by. Um, but Hey, everything, 37:18 β 37:22 you know, there's so much to be grateful for. if I was, if I was there and if I managed to 37:22 β 37:28 somehow, you know, I do believe in like, like that butterfly effect, like one small change 37:28 β 37:35 in your past could have, have really huge changes. And so. Yeah. I mean, I'm a British now I 37:35 β 37:40 could traveling is easy for me getting a visa is not difficult coming to the U S is not difficult. 37:40 β 37:46 Um, yeah, I mean, there's so much. benefits. And so, yeah, it is a big unfair advantage 37:46 β 37:50 of mine that my parents decided to leave when they did. Yeah. Yeah. I know it reminds me 37:50 β 37:57 of when you share the story of like the impoverished Filipino girl and kind of the impact that 37:57 β 38:01 it had on you when you were visiting Manila. And you mentioned how like, you know, who 38:01 β 38:08 knows what could have happened if your parents never like, you know, left Iraq. And I think 38:08 β 38:13 like. What until I read your book I would never have identified it this way like literally 38:13 β 38:17 now whenever this is the Such a positive impacts from reading the book. It's like I'm always 38:17 β 38:23 now identifying like what is an unfair advantage I never called it that but I was like, oh like 38:23 β 38:27 and I remember when I was describing to my sister about it She's like what is this like? Oh like 38:27 β 38:31 everyone has them It's not a lot of times you think it's just your money you're this economic 38:31 β 38:36 status and those things do play a factor But everyone has it in some capacity and I think 38:36 β 38:43 for me how I used to kind of call it was like this, I have this, what I like to dub innate 38:43 β 38:48 indebtedness and how that has, which means it's kind of how it's correlated to me recognizing 38:48 β 38:54 like how me being a child of immigrants from Jamaica, which is a poor country, and my parents 38:54 β 39:00 leaving when they did and us being born here, like how that is our unfair advantage and how, 39:00 β 39:04 even though sometimes I feel like, gosh, mom and dad are, mom so tough on us and always 39:04 β 39:09 pushing us and blah, blah, blah. It's like, well, We had a better life because of because 39:09 β 39:14 of that and that and I feel sometimes the struggle between I want to make them proud, right? Like 39:14 β 39:20 they did so much to me. But then, like, I also want to not feel like I'm ball and chain to 39:20 β 39:24 what they expect of me. So, yeah, it's just been it's an interesting parallel. So I just 39:24 β 39:30 I find that like, yeah, I'm always trying to identify these these unfair advantages in my 39:30 β 39:35 life now. But I do struggle with like this innate indebtedness that I feel with them. So yeah. 39:36 β 39:40 Anyway, well, think we need to all, I think that's the healthy way to live and the health 39:40 β 39:45 way to live life is with an innate indebtedness because that's just another way of saying 39:45 β 39:51 gratitude. Yeah. Yeah. And think gratitude is very important. And, you know, that's the, 39:51 β 39:57 a word, using a phrase like indebtedness nowadays with modern thinking, because it's become so 39:57 β 40:04 secular and so lacking in, in that, like, if you look at all older texts and thinkers, 40:04 β 40:08 they'll always be talking about the providence of God. They'll always be talking about the 40:08 β 40:13 blessings. always, because that's how, that's like a way of mental, having mental fitness 40:13 β 40:20 and a way of feeling spiritually sound and spiritually good and grounded is to have a feeling of indebtedness. 40:20 β 40:27 In Islam, we're taught to be indebted to our parents and we're taught to be, to really 40:27 β 40:36 value them, to really look after them. It's like, it's such an important thing. And it's 40:36 β 40:41 said that even if they're, I mean, there are bad parents, right? There are people who have 40:41 β 40:47 been really bad parents. And even if they've been awful and abusive and, know, God forbid, 40:47 β 40:53 all these terrible things, there's a thing about not cutting them off, even if they're 40:53 β 41:00 that bad. Even if like they've literally traumatized your childhood, let's say. It's like you have 41:00 β 41:05 to stay in touch. You have to ask about them. And look, you do what you can, right? Like, 41:05 β 41:12 but even if they're bad people, it's just good to an extreme and say that you don't cut them 41:12 β 41:19 off. And it's just an important part of like that kind of familial bonds and cohesion and 41:19 β 41:25 community. it starts from family. And yeah, so that indebtedness is like an indebtedness 41:25 β 41:31 to parents and indefiniteness to God and indefiniteness to teachers. Anybody that teaches you anything, 41:31 β 41:36 you have to respect them. It's just, this is such important stuff. And I think I love that 41:36 β 41:40 you said that. just thought I'll just mention it. Yeah, thank you. I think, yeah, that's, 41:40 β 41:44 we're very big on respecting our elders and stuff. And sometimes, I don't know, I just 41:44 β 41:47 feel like an old grandma. Sometimes I see some of these kids telling their parents like, shut 41:47 β 41:51 up, mom, and do it. And I was like, oh my gosh, if I ever did, first of I'd never think to 41:51 β 41:55 do that. But like, you know, we grew up in a household where we had to say yes, mom. Yes, 41:55 β 42:00 dad, like very respectful. I think sometimes that's losing it a little bit today's culture. 42:00 β 42:05 And you're in the South where they have that bit more in the US where they have like, yes, 42:05 β 42:09 sir. Yes, ma'am. And all that kind of stuff. Um, and yeah, I'm the same. when I see on 42:09 β 42:14 TV or just some white kids that I know who will tell their moms to shut up, I'll be like, what? 42:14 β 42:21 is like the world. How the hell did you say that? We get beaten for that. Like we would 42:21 β 42:26 never, like you said, we would never think of saying that. So it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And 42:26 β 42:30 I feel like that might be even part of the unfair advantage is kind of some of the values that 42:30 β 42:34 you get from growing up with immigrant parents, maybe. I don't know. Just a thought is that, 42:34 β 42:40 yeah, because if you had just grown up in, like in your case, British culture the whole 42:40 β 42:47 time, you maybe wouldn't have that mindset of of feeling indebted to your family and to 42:47 β 42:53 people who teach you and things like that in the same way that you do now having those values 42:53 β 42:57 kind of instilled in you. And there's value in both because there's a lot of things in 42:57 β 43:03 like we've touched on individualism and we touched a little bit on the whole collectivist or community 43:03 β 43:10 driven mindset where it's based on duties based on responsibilities based on, looking after 43:10 β 43:19 one another. And, um, but also the, you know, my path has been in that kind of individualistic 43:19 β 43:22 way going, no, I'm not doing that. I'm doing this. I'm going to do my own thing. And so, 43:23 β 43:30 You you have to get the best of what you can from both, you know, take what's valuable, 43:30 β 43:35 take what's useful, try and find a good middle ground. It's also bad to just kind of sacrifice. 43:35 β 43:40 To an extent, it depends. Sometimes it's worth. So I really believe that sometimes it's worth 43:40 β 43:45 sacrificing happiness for a greater cause. But sometimes it's not for a greater cause. 43:45 β 43:50 Sometimes it's just like some kind of expectations or some kind of things which aren't actually 43:50 β 43:58 important. So yeah, I guess I'm just trying to say that one small example is that in my 43:58 β 44:03 culture, everyone stays living with their parents until they're married. That's just how it works. 44:03 β 44:09 No one moves out. And by the way, that's changing as well for like Jen, even millennials and 44:09 β 44:14 Gen Z, they're staying living with their parents, even like white kids. And the reason for that 44:14 β 44:20 is property prices. It's just too insane. So now it's become more normal. But it used to 44:20 β 44:25 be the case, especially like a few decades ago, that they would literally, I mean, I used to 44:25 β 44:28 watch the Simpsons when I was younger and they used to say, when you're 18, I'm kicking you 44:28 β 44:32 out. I said, what? Like, that's so weird. Like, you say that to a bar. And that was a thing 44:32 β 44:36 in like white culture, like in British culture, when they're 16, they start charging their 44:36 β 44:41 kids rent. Like this used to be the case. Like they used to their kids rent when they're 18, 44:41 β 44:46 you need to get out. It was very much a case of independence. Um, it's different. So, so 44:46 β 44:50 what am I trying to say is that it was very normal for me to stay at home after university 44:50 β 44:56 and try and figure out my business. And I was able to live rent free, mortgage free in, 44:56 β 45:01 London, one of the most expensive cities in the world and be able to get clients from there 45:01 β 45:05 because of that. That's again, that's just one small thing. And again, that's become more 45:05 β 45:09 normal because of property prices. So now it's become very normal, but it wasn't the case. 45:09 β 45:15 So yeah, pros and cons. don't know. Like, Look, now I've recently become a parent. have a two 45:15 β 45:20 year old and a one year old now. And I see how difficult parenthood is when it comes 45:20 β 45:26 to, when you look at nuclear families. Nuclear families is a relatively recent phenomenon 45:26 β 45:32 and it's a very Western phenomenon, which is meaning just two parents and their kids. And 45:32 β 45:37 that's it. That's the household. It used to be like grandparents and uncles and aunts and 45:37 β 45:41 cousins all live nearby and they share and come in and out. And you know, that whole thing 45:41 β 45:45 of it takes a village to raise a child. That's what makes people have more children. It becomes 45:45 β 45:50 so much better. And now everyone's struggling with just one or two. They're like, it used 45:50 β 45:55 to be the dads were completely hands off. know, that's not necessarily a good thing, but it 45:55 β 45:59 feels like even when the dads were completely hands off, the moms were coping a lot better. 45:59 β 46:04 Now the dads are like half involved and they're still, both of them can't cope and it's crazy. 46:04 β 46:08 So I'm seeing that with other parents, friends of mine, and I'm seeing it with myself. Yeah. 46:08 β 46:12 I just wanted to mention again that all ties into this difference of East versus West. And 46:12 β 46:19 it's not really East. It's just like everywhere else. There's a researcher, I've forgotten 46:19 β 46:26 his name now, but there's a book called WEIRD. W-E-I-R-D. And it stands for Western Educated 46:26 β 46:32 Industrialized Something Developed. I don't know if you've come across this. And the idea 46:32 β 46:43 behind it is that how different Western society, modern Western society is. a weird book, Western... 46:44 β 46:48 Yeah, the weirdest people in the world is what it's called. Oh, okay. I'll write that down. 46:48 β 46:54 How the West... Hold on. What's the subtitle? How the West Became Psychologically Peculiar 46:54 β 47:00 and Particularly Prosperous. By Joseph Henrich. And essentially, and one of the takeaways 47:00 β 47:04 from it, there's so many, like this all touches on like culture and stuff. And that's why you'll 47:04 β 47:10 find like, you know, whether there is Chinese culture... Indian culture, Arab culture, or 47:10 β 47:14 like Nigerian culture, you know, like all these different cultures that have so much in Latin 47:14 β 47:20 American culture, they have so much in common versus like English or white American or, 47:20 β 47:25 know, and it's because of this. and one of the, one of the takeaways, by the way, this 47:25 β 47:30 is a little bit off topic, but even all this, all the studies that they do is usually on 47:30 β 47:35 college students. And then they get all the results of these studies. And sometimes they 47:35 β 47:39 fake the results, et cetera. That's another topic. But sometimes they get the results of 47:39 β 47:44 these studies and say, this is just how humans are. And actually, no, this is how these humans 47:44 β 47:52 are. And they're weird. They're not the typical humans. college students in the US is not 47:52 β 47:58 the average human being in the world. And so, yeah, it's a very interesting perspective. 47:58 β 48:01 And I'm going to dive more into that because I find this cultural different stuff. very 48:01 β 48:06 fascinating. Yeah. Because I've always noticed if you see like funny reels or TikToks or something 48:06 β 48:13 about like, oh, Jamaican parents are like, Asian parents are like, guess what? They're 48:13 β 48:19 all the same. Yeah, it's true. It's true. true. There's Jamaican or Arab or Chinese. They're 48:19 β 48:24 all the same. The only ones that are different is just basically white people. Yes. They're 48:24 β 48:30 the outlier culture. But there's something, this isn't just a criticism of absolutely 48:30 β 48:35 not because look, we've become prosperous and we've learned things by moving into countries 48:35 β 48:39 where that's the dominant culture. so again, we have to pick what's best out of this and 48:39 β 48:43 out of that. And I think that's really important. But one of the biggest problems is loneliness 48:43 β 48:51 in white culture. Loneliness is super sad. And I think more needs to be done about community, 48:51 β 48:56 parenting, loneliness, mental health, everybody's on antidepressants. There's some issues. There 48:56 β 49:02 are some real issues going on guys. So Yeah, that's little rant about the weird Western 49:02 β 49:06 culture. We see it and we see the differences. Oh, man, that could be a whole other conversation. 49:07 β 49:11 That was great. I wrote down the name of the book. I love everything about that. Yeah, there's 49:11 β 49:17 so much in there. Yeah, we don't want to take up that much of your time, but that's a lot 49:17 β 49:23 to dig into. That was great. But since we're on the topic of kind of differences in cultures, 49:23 β 49:27 I don't even know if you can fully answer this question, but I just wanted to ask it since 49:27 β 49:33 you're kind of our first non-American guest, and I have a feeling you know enough about 49:33 β 49:40 American culture. Just what do you think are some of maybe the major differences between 49:40 β 49:47 being a child of immigrants in the US versus in the UK? Like, you think, have you perceived 49:47 β 49:52 any differences? do you think? Good question. Okay, so again, this is not very well known 49:52 β 49:58 in the US, but like, So Europe and the UK and this part of the world, it's a smaller place. 49:59 β 50:05 It's a much more geographically much smaller place. Like in the US, it's like having a six 50:05 β 50:09 hour road trip is completely normal. Yeah. We're just going on a road trip. the UK, it's like, 50:09 β 50:15 what? Where are going? This is crazy. Like, it's not even built. Like, I mean, there are 50:15 β 50:20 some highways and stuff, right? Like, for example, I've been to the Scotland only, I think only 50:20 β 50:24 once in my life, which is sad. I want to go by the way. I want to go more often, but the 50:24 β 50:28 weather is a bit, you have to pick like the middle of summer to make it fun. But I've 50:28 β 50:32 only been to Scotland once and guess what? It's only a six hour drive from London to go to 50:32 β 50:39 like Edinburgh or Glasgow. So anyway, geographically it's so much more dense. Everything's smaller 50:39 β 50:45 and communities are much closer together. So when immigrant communities are in the UK, they're 50:45 β 50:49 much closer to other, first of all, UK is much more diverse. Again, that's largely because 50:49 β 50:57 of the British empire. So it's much more diverse and therefore you have more immigrants to 50:57 β 51:03 mix with, especially in the major cities, et cetera. So that's one difference. In the U.S., 51:03 β 51:08 there are some pockets of that. We've mentioned New York, Miami has that a little bit. And 51:08 β 51:14 different pockets, there are parts of LA which are very like Persian, let's say. Detroit, 51:14 β 51:18 Michigan, kind of, there's a city there called Dearborn, which is full of Arabs. There's a 51:18 β 51:23 lot of Iraqis, Lebanese in Dearborn, Michigan. But in general, people are more spread out. 51:23 β 51:28 People are more spread out and therefore they kind of become more Americanized just as a 51:28 β 51:36 generality. That's number one difference in immigrants that I see. Number two is just 51:36 β 51:40 the difference between different, like British and American culture. And it's not just British, 51:40 β 51:46 it's old world versus new world. So essentially let's say American Canada to an extent versus 51:46 β 51:54 like Europe, Middle East, Asia, which is that. And this is a positive. America is much more 51:54 β 52:01 of a optimistic place. America is much more of a you can do it too place. America is much 52:01 β 52:06 more competitive. Here are the negatives now. So those are the positives. The negatives, 52:06 β 52:13 and also you can really rise up in America. There really is a sense of like social mobility 52:13 β 52:16 upwards, particularly when you're in the middle. I think when you're on the bottom 20%, it's 52:16 β 52:20 actually really hard to rise up. You're kind of stuck. In America, I've seen... I gave a 52:20 β 52:25 Ted talk about this actually, part of the stats in the Ted talk is actually harder to go from 52:25 β 52:30 the bottom 20 % to the top 20 % in the US compared to Europe, where you think that it's much more 52:30 β 52:36 like less meritocratic, but actually it's harder. But I think from the middle, if you're somewhere 52:36 β 52:39 in the middle of the socioeconomic ladder in the US and you want to get to the top, it's 52:39 β 52:46 a lot easier and it's hard work, but it's much more doable. Incomes are a lot higher, quality 52:46 β 52:50 of life, you your houses are bigger. you just have more space. The highways are bigger, your 52:50 β 52:54 cars are bigger. It's like Texas. Like, you how you guys feel about Texas? We feel that 52:54 β 53:02 about the whole of Europe. So those are the kind of differences. Essentially in the UK, 53:03 β 53:08 self-improvement and self-development is very much like, it's not really looked at as like, 53:08 β 53:13 oh, that guy's rich. Well, I can be rich too. It's not looked at. That's not the general 53:13 β 53:18 culture. The general culture is like, Oh, that lucky bastard. That's the general culture. 53:18 β 53:24 That's literally how British people talk. Oh, lucky them. Because why? Because there's a 53:24 β 53:28 lot of inherited wealth here. a of like that kind of... There's a reason why people think 53:28 β 53:33 of it more as luck. In the US, you also have lot of inherited wealth, but the mindset is 53:33 β 53:40 still like, know, self-made, go get them, American dream, et cetera. So those are the major differences 53:40 β 53:47 that I see. Oh, the other big, difference is healthcare. Being free is huge difference. 53:47 β 53:53 Work-life balance is a huge, huge difference. You work a lot harder in the US, you have less 53:53 β 54:00 paid time off, less vacation and less everything. But yeah, but then customer service is a lot 54:00 β 54:08 better. often live, are smileier. Pros and cons. Before I forget, because I wanted to 54:08 β 54:14 get back, when we were talking about kind of race in the US and all of that, This is a 54:14 β 54:19 curiosity of mine because again, you're your first non-American guest in the US We have 54:20 β 54:25 like when we take standardized tests from when we're little kids We have to decide like in 54:25 β 54:29 on the test like you have to the first questions is like what race are you and so and you have 54:29 β 54:36 like boxes to check like black black non-hispanic Hispanic Why? Yeah, all these. And yeah, so 54:36 β 54:41 you literally have to check a box when you're a little kid of what you are, because they 54:41 β 54:45 apparently historically they've used it because of the racial inequities and they're trying. 54:46 β 54:51 It's trying to correct it with that, I guess. So they try to keep track of it. Is that does 54:51 β 54:57 that exist at all in the UK? It does. They do tend to keep records. We don't have it at beginning 54:57 β 55:02 of every test and it's often optional, but we do have it in lot of forms where it will say 55:02 β 55:07 what ethnicity are you? And then it will be, yeah, it will be like these boxes. And then 55:07 β 55:12 I'll always be like, what am I Asian other? I'm always like, I don't know what Arab is 55:12 β 55:17 because technically we are Asian. But if I put Asian, they think that's Indian or Pakistani 55:17 β 55:23 or something like that. In the U S Asian means East Asian and the word Oriental has like 55:23 β 55:28 got this kind of weird pejorative thing. Whereas in the UK it's normal to say Oriental. I mean, 55:28 β 55:31 it literally just means Eastern. don't know. You know, some things just start to develop 55:31 β 55:34 a pejorative character where it becomes a bit rude to use it where it's like. doesn't mean 55:34 β 55:39 anything bad. Yeah, I mean, this whole thing of categorization is really, really interesting 55:39 β 55:45 and really funny. was listening to a nice his this is just an interesting thing I'll share 55:45 β 55:50 with you as well. I was listening to an interesting history podcast and he was talking they were 55:50 β 55:55 talking about Aristotle or one of the ancient Greek philosophers and they're like, he's the 55:55 β 56:00 the most famous Western philosopher and I was like, okay, what makes him Western? Okay, why 56:00 β 56:06 is he Western? He's Greek people pretty much look like Arabs. They're literally next door. 56:06 β 56:13 because they just create these artificial like boundaries of like, Greece is in Europe. And 56:13 β 56:19 then like, you know, like what's close to like Lebanon is, in the middle East. And it's like, 56:20 β 56:24 they're literally like, I don't know how long of a boat ride from each other. They look exactly 56:24 β 56:28 the same. They have the same kind of Mediterranean culture where they'll have olive oil and they'll 56:28 β 56:34 have flatbread and I'll have like, you know, like yogurt. dips and they'll have yogurt drinks. 56:34 β 56:41 It's the same. mean, so it's, um, it's this whole East versus West stuff, which is like, 56:41 β 56:46 uh, you know, the film 300 tries to make the, the battle between the ancient Greeks and 56:46 β 56:51 the ancient Persians as being an East versus West thing. And the reality is actually their 56:51 β 56:56 cultures were pretty similar. Their ethnicities were free. They'd get along quite well. There 56:56 β 57:01 was this guy on YouTube who's this, uh, musicologist. He really understands ancient music and he 57:01 β 57:06 can recreate. somehow he recreates like ancient Roman music or ancient Greek music or something 57:06 β 57:13 else like that. And, then he has this video essay where he talks about like Greek music, 57:13 β 57:18 even modern day. He's like, I get this question a lot. Why does Greek music sound like Arabic 57:18 β 57:21 music? And he's like, you guys realize that they're literally next. Like, why does it sound 57:21 β 57:25 so Oriental? Why does it sound so Eastern? It's like, they are in the East. They're in the 57:25 β 57:30 Eastern Mediterranean. But it's because we think of it as like, you know, it was this decision 57:30 β 57:34 made. in the Renaissance, think, where they were like, okay, we're going to base our culture 57:34 β 57:39 on ancient Greeks and ancient Romans. But the reality is like Germans and Brits and, you 57:39 β 57:44 know, these Northern Europeans who would, for example, drink beer and eat butter were quite 57:44 β 57:49 different to the Southern Europeans who drink wine and have olive oil. Their cultures are 57:49 β 57:53 completely different. But then they made it like Europe is this one thing. And then they 57:53 β 57:58 made it like these Mediterranean, like Southern Europeans are different to like Middle Easterners 57:58 β 58:02 and different to North Africaners. Actually, they're very well connected because of the 58:02 β 58:07 Mediterranean. So my point here is a lot of these distinctions and categorizations and 58:07 β 58:13 boxes just have some political motive, historical political motives, and it's just complete nonsense. 58:13 β 58:19 yeah, like Aristotle would have looked a lot more like me than he would like any English, 58:19 β 58:25 British guy or German guy. They look completely different. There was this joke about how ancient 58:25 β 58:30 Romans, if they were pretending to be Jewish, like from the land, you know, Palestine land, 58:30 β 58:35 now or Judeo or whatever it was called back in ancient Jewish time, ancient Roman times, 58:35 β 58:40 all they had to do is like wear different things. think they used to pierce their ears and, 58:40 β 58:45 and funnily enough get, uh, get circumcised. And that's how they can pretend to be Jewish 58:45 β 58:52 because they all look the same. So in America, in the beginning, white had this specific thing 58:52 β 58:56 and then Irish didn't count as white and Italian didn't count as white. And then slowly they 58:56 β 59:01 had to include them. And then it's just, it's, it's all a funny. weird game of categories 59:01 β 59:08 and boxes and labels. And really it's all one mishmash and kind of hard to define. And yeah, 59:08 β 59:18 it's all a bit of a nonsense. All right. Yeah. Let's go to our kind of lighter questions 59:18 β 59:24 here. That was a very... I love it. Yeah. get very interesting. Be respectful of your time. 59:24 β 59:28 Yeah. Be respectful of your time. Although we have a lot we could talk about with that. 59:28 β 59:35 So we'll start off, we like to start off by asking about food. So do you have any favorite 59:35 β 59:42 kind of Iraqi dishes that you'd like to share with us? Yeah, sure. Yeah, Iraq is really 59:42 β 59:48 interesting. So Iraq is actually, doesn't have any natural borders. Iraq was always being 59:48 β 59:54 invaded from somewhere. So originally, if we go to ancient times, it was their own civilizations 59:54 β 1:00:00 and the kind of the native civilizations. And then You get an ancient Persia is right near 1:00:00 β 1:00:06 door next door, which is basically modern day Iran. They have such an old culture and old 1:00:06 β 1:00:11 civilization. It's been going on for thousands of years and that's like right next door. So 1:00:11 β 1:00:16 that had a lot of influence on it. And then you have the ancient Greeks. So Alexander the 1:00:16 β 1:00:21 great and et cetera, they kind of came all the way down there and became Hellenized, meaning 1:00:21 β 1:00:27 became like Greeks. Hence why I said there's not much difference because it's not far. 1:00:27 β 1:00:33 Later on, it became the Ottomans who were essentially the Turks who came from Central Asia originally, 1:00:33 β 1:00:40 then kind of mixed in with the Greeks that lived on Anatolia, which became so essentially 1:00:40 β 1:00:45 again, you have like kind of ethnic Greeks, ethnic Turks, ethnic Persians, then you had 1:00:45 β 1:00:50 the Arabs that came in. And so as you see, Iraq doesn't actually have any like mountains on 1:00:50 β 1:00:55 the edge. In the North, we have some mountains, but people just cross into the land. So our 1:00:55 β 1:01:00 food. also reflects that. There's food from all different cultures. There's stuff like 1:01:00 β 1:01:06 that's like kind of Greek, Ottoman, Turkish. There's stuff that's Persian. There's stuff 1:01:06 β 1:01:10 that's kind of local to the land as well, which is like based on the two rivers, which is like 1:01:10 β 1:01:15 river fish that they would make. So I'll share some dishes with you. One of the most, the 1:01:15 β 1:01:20 most famous dish is actually a fish dish in Iraq, where it's like grilled fish made in 1:01:20 β 1:01:24 a very special way. They would kind of stand up the fish around the fire, but not on top 1:01:24 β 1:01:29 of a fire, around a fire. Um, and it's this carp from the river and that's called Simec 1:01:29 β 1:01:34 Mezguf, is Mezguf. It's like a grilled fish. Essentially. That one's delicious. It's not 1:01:34 β 1:01:39 my favorite, but it's pretty good. It's really good. Some nice flavors. use a lot of pomegranate 1:01:39 β 1:01:44 molasses. So pomegranates are quite native to Middle East, Persia, that kind of side, uh, 1:01:44 β 1:01:50 Turkey. Um, then you have kebabs. So you have kebabs all over the Middle East and stuff. 1:01:50 β 1:01:53 And the Iraqi kebab is very good. It's kind of a, a bit more of a rich, a bit more of a 1:01:53 β 1:02:00 fatty lamb kebab. You do have the kind of what in the U S is more famous as gyro. I can Greek. 1:02:01 β 1:02:06 Yeah. Um, but actually I think it was kind of Turkish and then the Greeks took it on cause 1:02:06 β 1:02:12 they were part of the Ottoman empire, et cetera. You also have stuffed vine leaves. So, so gyro, 1:02:12 β 1:02:17 yeah, is just meat on a spit meat, meat or chicken on a spit, which is always really nice. Um, 1:02:17 β 1:02:23 then you have like stuffed vine leaves. So get these great please. the. And then you put 1:02:23 β 1:02:29 rice inside. so rice has always been part of Iraqi culture. So we have the Basmati rice, 1:02:29 β 1:02:34 the sort of the same ones that Indians and Pakistanis have. Okay. Or Persians. Like it's very, very 1:02:34 β 1:02:37 similar to Persian rice. And then again, that's because we had marshlands in the South because 1:02:37 β 1:02:42 you need a lot of water to make rice. So just like they have in the Far East, but ours is 1:02:42 β 1:02:47 not the sticky variety. So the typical Iraqi foods is a rice and a stew. So think of it 1:02:47 β 1:02:53 like a non-spicy curry. So it has spices, but it's not like chili spicy. have like an okra 1:02:53 β 1:02:57 stew, which I think you have in the U S in the southern States, right? We have an okra lamb 1:02:57 β 1:03:05 stew with garlic and okra and tomato sauce. You'll have a aubergine eggplant stew. Um, 1:03:05 β 1:03:11 you'll have so many different things. like this, um, it's kind of like a cookie made out of 1:03:11 β 1:03:15 dough and dates. There's like, it's a dough stuff. It's like a cookie stuffed with dates. 1:03:15 β 1:03:19 So instead of adding sugar, you have dates. It's called clear check. That one's really 1:03:19 β 1:03:24 nice. It's so many. really love Iraqi food because you get so much like. Variety. It's a lot of 1:03:24 β 1:03:28 it's like you get the flatbreads, you get the rice. Um, you get the, you have the stews, 1:03:28 β 1:03:33 you have the grilled food. Um, and there's lots of dishes now that I'm somehow slipping 1:03:33 β 1:03:36 my mind, but then you have the influence from the Levant, which is like the hummus, the Baba 1:03:36 β 1:03:42 ganoush, all of that kind of is there. Um, yeah, I love it. Iraqi food for me is like, 1:03:42 β 1:03:47 it makes me feel at home. just love, love. That's awesome. So yeah. That's one of the 1:03:47 β 1:03:51 main things. Yeah, no, thank you. That's one of the food is always one of the main things 1:03:51 β 1:03:56 we feel like even when people, you know, emigrate to a new place, it's like food is always central 1:03:56 β 1:04:06 in the household. Do you have a favorite celebrity from Iraq? could be a celebrity. There's a 1:04:06 β 1:04:10 chef that kind of became famous as a Iraqi chef. His name is Chef Shaheen. I went to his restaurant 1:04:10 β 1:04:17 in Dubai. He's pretty cool. He's a cool guy. He came. He's also UK. He's from like a different 1:04:17 β 1:04:22 city in the north. He's one of the later immigrants and he went on MasterChef. Have you seen MasterChef, 1:04:22 β 1:04:27 that British cooking show? Yeah. Yeah. He reached like a, I think he reached the, he didn't win, 1:04:27 β 1:04:31 but he kind of did quite well on MasterChef and then he had his YouTube following and then 1:04:31 β 1:04:36 he opened restaurants. So that's someone that comes to mind as well. Cool. But I bet I'm 1:04:36 β 1:04:40 forgetting like some really famous. No, no worries. It's a tricky question. like totally forgetting 1:04:40 β 1:04:43 right now where I'm like, oh damn, I should have thought of them, but yeah, that's just 1:04:43 β 1:04:48 what comes to mind. No, it's all good. You want to ask one more? Yes. Well, maybe two more. 1:04:49 β 1:04:59 I always like to ask too, if you have a favorite like phrase or saying or expression or expression 1:04:59 β 1:05:06 that maybe your parents used or something. Yeah, it's always a hard one. I know it's always 1:05:06 β 1:05:11 a hard one, but I like to ask it. You know, I've thought of one and it's a funny one because 1:05:11 β 1:05:16 it's like it's mostly English and I'll tell you in a second. And there's probably better 1:05:16 β 1:05:19 ones that I could think of if I thought for longer, right? But what came to the top of 1:05:19 β 1:05:28 my head is a really funny one because it's simply this. Take it easy, ya Azizi. Take it easy. 1:05:28 β 1:05:33 And ya Azizi is pretty much just because it rhymes, but it means my dear. My dear, take 1:05:33 β 1:05:37 it easy, my dear. And it just means like, you know, take it easy. It's all right. It's all 1:05:37 β 1:05:42 going to be fine. And that's just what's come to my mind. And it's more of a jokey. I don't 1:05:42 β 1:05:44 even know how common it is, but it's something my parents that would sometimes say, we'll 1:05:44 β 1:05:52 say, take it easy. Take it easy. dear. I love that. That's cute. Yeah, I like that. Very 1:05:52 β 1:05:58 nice. Okay. I like that. I like that one. I'll tell you some famous phrases. There's like, 1:05:58 β 1:06:04 shaku maku is a known Iraqi phrase of like, Hey, it means WhatsApp. It just means WhatsApp 1:06:04 β 1:06:11 and shaku means what is there? And maku means What, what isn't there kind of what means 1:06:11 β 1:06:15 nothing. So it's like, is, what is happening? What's not happening? It's kind of means what's 1:06:15 β 1:06:19 happening. What's not happening. But it's just a funny, it's shaku maku because it rhymes. 1:06:19 β 1:06:24 It's just like shaku maku. It's a known Iraqi phrase that like other Arabs, when they find 1:06:24 β 1:06:28 out I'm Iraqi, they will say to me shaku maku. And so that's that's a funny, that's a funny 1:06:28 β 1:06:33 thing that they'll say in Iraq. The other thing that is known for Iraq is, is how we say, how 1:06:33 β 1:06:42 are you? The phrase in Arabic is shlonek, which means what color are you? So the literal translation 1:06:42 β 1:06:48 is, what color are you? Just meaning like, guess, because like, what's the right word? 1:06:48 β 1:06:52 Metaphorically, you're different, if you're happy, you're a different color to when you're 1:06:52 β 1:06:57 sad. It's a reference to emotions, not a literal reference to like skin color or anything. 1:06:57 β 1:07:02 So shlonek is a known Iraqi phrase as well, which means, how are you? It basically just 1:07:02 β 1:07:09 means how are you? Oh, cool. I love that question. The answers that we get from that question 1:07:09 β 1:07:19 is always so great. Okay. And our last question is, do you have like a happy place in Iraq 1:07:19 β 1:07:24 from when you visited or it doesn't even feel like home or something? Yeah. It doesn't have 1:07:24 β 1:07:32 to be a place. can even kind of just be like a memory. From Iraq. Oh, I wish I had more 1:07:32 β 1:07:38 memories in Iraq. I don't have that many. because I just went once when I was like, how old was 1:07:38 β 1:07:45 I? 20 or 19. And once when... I can't even do math. And then once much more recently. But 1:07:45 β 1:07:52 I'll tell you what, there are some religious shrines in Iraq of like the grandson of the 1:07:52 β 1:08:00 prophet, the son-in-law of the prophet, the first Imam in Shia Islam. So these are really 1:08:00 β 1:08:04 like, I need to like show it to you or something, or you need to see like TikToks or videos of 1:08:04 β 1:08:13 it. really, really beautiful mosques, beautiful, like the intricate mosaics and the like mirror, 1:08:13 β 1:08:17 they use these like mirrored mosaics and like the way the light is and the way the domes 1:08:17 β 1:08:24 are. It's really, really beautiful and it's very spiritually resonant. So it's somewhere, 1:08:24 β 1:08:28 and when you said happy place, that's what I thought of. So I thought of the, for example, 1:08:28 β 1:08:34 the Imam Ali mosque in Najaf, which is the, or the Qadhimiyyah mosque in Baghdad. And 1:08:34 β 1:08:39 basically these are like, you can think of them as like they're the Imams of Shia culture, 1:08:39 β 1:08:46 of Shia Islam. So Shia is the, is the second most common type of Muslim. the most common, 1:08:46 β 1:08:51 it's like kind of like Christian and Protestant. It's a little bit like that. So there's two 1:08:51 β 1:08:58 sects. So it's the, it's the low, less populous. So I think around 80 % of the world's Muslims 1:08:58 β 1:09:04 are Sunni, around 20 % are Shia. So it's a Shia Muslim. kind of shrines that you can visit. 1:09:04 β 1:09:11 It's almost like saints to visit saints or imams. And they're very spiritually grounding, very, 1:09:11 β 1:09:16 very beautiful. So if you even see footage of it, if you type in the Imam Ali mosque and 1:09:16 β 1:09:19 have a look at that on TikTok or something, you'll see people who visit it or the Imam 1:09:19 β 1:09:24 Hussein mosque. It's just mosques in Iraq that are like shrines. They're really, really beautiful. 1:09:24 β 1:09:30 And it can really be somewhere where you can feel that peace and feel connected to God 1:09:30 β 1:09:37 and spirituality. Nice. Awesome. This has been a fantastic conversation. We've had so much 1:09:37 β 1:09:43 fun. Hasan, we really appreciate you taking the time to speak with us. I know, Brianna's 1:09:43 β 1:09:50 loving this as a lover of London. No, it's just an honor to meet you. It's so cool. know, author 1:09:50 β 1:09:53 of the book and everything. But no, I've really loved. We could have gone down so many different 1:09:53 β 1:09:57 other pathways, but we really appreciate you taking the time to speak with us. a lot of 1:09:57 β 1:10:01 fun. It's been really fun. I love talking about culture. I love talking about differences. 1:10:02 β 1:10:08 how it was brought up. can see I've thought about it a lot. Yeah, for sure. Awesome. Thank 1:10:08 β 1:10:11 you so much. Thank you.